That sounds similar to me. I was diagnosed unexpectedly at 38 and it changed my life. There is a good chance your internalised coping mechanisms are adding undue stress to your nervous system, making you tired and depressed, and ironically exacerbating the conditions for symptoms to become more disruptive (when you're tired, aren't eating properly, hyperfocusing too much and wearing yourself out, working late nights to catch up and not getting enough sleep, rinse, repeat, constant burnout).
If it's within your means to do so, I can't stress enough how much better it is knowing, for sure.
Same, except aged 28. I completely randomly happened to stumble upon a detailed description of inattentive ADHD, and had the thought, "Hmm, I wonder how doctors are able to differentiate between someone who has these symptoms and has ADHD, and someone like me who has these symptoms but doesn't have ADHD."
Then it hit me like a brick wall. Now I understand the phrase "it was like time stopped." Blinders came off and I felt like I re-evaluated every life experience I'd had in about 30 seconds. Two doctors appointments later I was hearing "Oh yes, you certainly have intense ADHD, the question is just how intense."
ADHD affects so many things as you mention. For me, getting treated has nearly entirely eliminated all forms of anxiety. For instance, I was a socially anxious mess in any sort of group setting; now I intentionally seek out conversations and enjoy telling stories. Some days I hardly recognize the old me. Strange feeling.
But yes, diagnosis + treatment highly recommended. Untreated ADHD increases your risk factors for so many things -- for instance, substance issues (NIH estimates fully 50% of people with substance issues have ADHD whether they know it or not).
I thought about getting diagnosed too, but to be frank, while I certainly wanna try those meds, I don't wanna take them for the rest of my life, let alone pay for them on a regular basis.
Yeah. Also, some countries still treat anyone with any kind of official mental "unusualness" as needing to be thrown in a looney bin. :(
Additionally, it's an unknown how long the current acceptance of ADHD (etc) will last in modern / western countries. We could just be going through a limited-time golden period.
That's not the biggest worry. The largest psychological hurdle is seeing how much better your brain is with an illegal medication, and accepting the very uncomfortable truth that a pill that's often maligned, misunderstood, abused, and controlled is the difference between a fulfilling life and a slow spiral into the Abyss. Your fortune is not completely in your control.
As someone that has relied on himself all of his life, this idea still is very hard to live with.
I'm of two minds on this. Having taken them before and quitting, I know that you definitely can. But also once you see the kind of person you can be with medication, the really low unmedicated days feel extra hard compared to the effortlessness of the best medicated days.
I tried just one medicine at different dose levels for a few months and then stopped. Never figured out a long-term solution because I didn't take it long-term.
It is interesting you say this. While I have never been diagnosed ADHD I have been diagnosed with anxiety and was on SSRIs for about a year, which did help tremendously, but there were side effects and ultimately I decided I was in a place I could manage without the medication and so far have.
I am interested in if you could elaborate on how ADHD medication helps you with anxiety.
I've mentioned this before but there are serious warnings against getting tested in Sweden.
I was told that it can affect my health insurance, my mortgage and that I can't hold certain licenses (Pilot, HGV).
There are some direct consequences to being diagnosed and some indirect ones; and they warn that once the process of getting diagnosed starts; it cannot be stopped.
So, of course, I didn't seek a diagnosis- despite having many ADHD markers.
Another Swede here. I have never heard any of this before. Who told you this? I mean.. health insurance? You mean if you have supplemental private insurance? Mortgage? I have a mortgage and they have no access to any kind of health information and I would be very surprised if any bank would request it from me.
The information I got was from a company called Modigo but it was already discussed with my private psychologist; So Modigo just clarified what I had been told and had understood in writing.
Regarding the mortgage thing, I had the same feeling as you, but how it works is that mortgages are cheaper if you buy them with private insurance (income protection, life insurance).
For example: Nordea (a bank) and “If” (an insurance company) have a close partnership offering discounts for each others services when buying an apartment or house. Based on the information If gives backs to Nordea there can be greater discounts on mortgages; this worked in my favour previously and I got a 1.34% mortgage when the list price for 3y fixed was 2.1%.
It could be expanded further to say that if “If” considers me too high risk from various factors regarding my health that they would not even offer me health insurance at all, then the bank could use as justification itself that I am high risk and not extend a loan offer.
This sounds like it should be illegal imo. I’m not Swedish but your country strikes me as one where there are lots of protections for all kinds of people. Your (mental) health status really shouldn’t have an impact on whether or not you can get a mortgage, you cannot change anything about that. To me it sounds just as bad as profiling based on race or gender.
It's common for gender to be a factor in insurance. It's starting to become illegal, but it's a fairly recent thing. Most states allow it, California banned it in 2019.
I was diagnosed but also have High Blood Pressure (HBP), genetics, and most of the meds we tested cause an uncomfortable rise in pressure that just wasn't worth it.
My coping mechanisms are what I have left I suppose.
In Switzerland you can get dextroamphetamine made by a pharma chain from here. Other than ritalin and Adderal that are also commonly available, it's not only much cheaper (no brand licenses), but also way more effective with less side effects.
Pretty sure it doesn't help with blood pressure, but especially the way to common Ritalin comes with weird side effects that most people likely won't enjoy.
Thanks so much for this link. Super helpful. Went through them and found commenters who had hbp. guanfacine was a recommendation to try. I'll see if I can get a hold of some... not sure.
I did, my Blood Pressure is not great either but luckily, not enough to prevent taking anything, but enough to be careful. I'm in ok shape, not the best I've ever been in, but not terrible. I just take something to help reduce my heart rate at night.
Unfortunately stimulants don't have much of an affect on me so I take quite a high dose at the moment. I'm doing all the suggested things to help them along, like increasing protein, getting more Zinc, Magnesium, Vitamin D etc, staying away from citrus. Ensuring good sleep hygiene.
I see a psychologist regularly to unpick the weight of all the masking and coping mechanisms. It's a long process, but making much more progress than when I thought it was just depression and perfectionism issues.
I'm starting Neurofeedback to see if that helps and planning to use an ADHD specific performance coach in the new year to help with work.
You might discuss an SSRI with your docs if you don't already take one. They can help with the depression, and seem to promote neurogenesis which can help the re-wiring process. Of course they can have side effects.
Warning: SSRIs are highly habit forming despite not being scheduled as narcotics. They cause intense physical dependence. In my opinion, the juice is not worth the squeeze.
Question: what's the issue with citrus in this regard? Does it make long-acting medications not work as intended? My doctor never mentioned anything about citrus so I'm curious. thanks
Citrus (grapefruit is probably the worst offender) inhibits your body's absorption of some medications, so taking both in conjunction can become toxic over time.
fwiw, i got diagnosed earlier this year and have a background of high blood pressure. the doc prescribed me clonidine alongside my stimulant which has kept my blood pressure around normal levels.
Besides stimulants there are a lot of effective interventions for ADHD. There is good literature behind balance exercises, vigorous cardio exercise, sleep adjustment, ADHD specific therapy, and coaching. Once you're diagnosed, you have access to meds and a directive from your doctor to get therapy. Don't take the common advice and seek Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT doesn't work very well for ADHD, we tend to try to outsmart the process.
Mostly the benefit is understanding yourself and allowing a measure of grace for your challenges. It helps you calibrate your goals, and be self aware when making decisions that you may be suffering an executive function deficit, and to seek known good supports for managing impulse control challenges.
There was a time when I started taking stimulant meds, but still felt the need to finish off-topic ideas to completion. It took a lot of learning to understand that my instincts need scrutiny, and that I don't have to beat myself up for not being able to do impossible things on a regular basis.
I like myself better. I get more of the important stuff done. I can even relax from time to time. I also accept that I will always have some unique struggles and special abilities.
Interesting regarding CBT, matches my experiences. I'd also add that the CBT classes, to a guy like me, is SO FREAKING BORING. This is really hard to beat if you have poorly controlled ADHD.
CBT strategies are probably good for everyone to familiarize themselves with. You can probably use things like grounding at the very least. I found it useful. Some relaxation techniques could be valuable.
Stimulant access is becoming a massive issue these days. I think we need legislation that grants it as a right to people with ADHD or narcolepsy. I think there's even a case for legalization.
Relationships with psychs can be complicated, and the medical industry is not very kind to ADHD. eg. you can get fired by your psych and be abandoned with medication, basically for having ADHD.
People with ADHD are perceived to have behavioral problems. Those same problems can be used as an excuse not to treat you.
For me it allowed to stop blaming myself for the ADHD symptoms. I'm not lazy, I'm not failing. You can't imagine how much pressure that took off, and how much better I am doing as a consequence.
Access to medication, which is reported to work well in conjunction with targeted therapy such as cognitive behavioral therapy.
For more info see the book "Taking Charge of Adult ADHD" by Russel Barkley https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462546854 and the DIVA-5 test that many physicians use as part of the diagnosis process https://www.divacenter.eu (costs 10 EUR to download the PDF).
Acknowledging the problem (regardless of what one calls it) allows one to seek out solutions. If the problem has a name e.g., ADHD, one might notice a HN post about brown noise for ADHD treatment, open it and find a possible drug-free remedy that's possibly effective for them.
There is a lot of overlap in symptoms with other conditions. OCD, Autism, MDD etc.
Knowing exactly what the underlying issue is gives you the best way forward in treating effectively.
There is strong clustering for sure, but also good and recent evidence that ASD, ADHD, and ASD + ADHD (the community has adopted the term Audhd) are distinct at a genetic level. Those and related comorbidities are tied to dopamine transport, and thought to be strongly impacted by endocrine disruption. Brain scans reveal most differences in the basil ganglia and cerebellum, and then downstream dysfunction in the frontal lobe with executive function and sensory processing issues.
Extensive testing can yield pretty specific and accurate results. You won't get that from an hour one session but my testing took ~ 15 hours total. Expensive but worth it for me.
For me, lots of things I used to struggle with suddenly made sense and now I have strategies for coping with them that actually work. Whereas previously I would try various strategies and end up hating myself when they didn't work.
I used to drink far too much - that was a way for me to quiet the noise in my head - and now I'm aware (and have meds), I can drink sensibly.
I used to be late for everything - this is because I hate waiting and would rather have been late than have to kill ten minutes doing nothing. Now I know, I give myself things to do before the meeting (or whatever) starts.
I used to have a long-running internal conflict between my need to plan and control everything and my desire to "go with the flow" and take things as they come. Now I understand there are some things that I need to keep tight control over and all the rest I can just let it happen.
It's possible I would have come across these strategies without the diagnosis, but I'm in my late 40s and was only diagnosed last year. I had been failing with all the strategies I had tried and it was resulting in me hating myself and feeling inadequate that I was unable to cope with things everyone else seemed to find easy. But now I know the cause, I know where my boundaries are and what I can and can't "fix".
(As for blood pressure - mine was borderline high but it actually fell once I started taking the meds - I assume this is because I was actually more relaxed and able to cope with life).
It is only because of shit opinions like this that the stimulant medications (which many ADHD sufferers are prescribed) are still so difficult to get. Draconian laws based on racist and classist ideals by non-medical professionals created 50 years ago make these life-changing medications difficult to use uninterrupted due to the excessive amount of regulation surrounding just getting them filled at a pharmacy. These are not street drugs nor are they used recreationally, rather they are prescribed under the strict supervision of a qualified medical professional and that should be the end of any discussion.
It is very difficult in many parts of the US to get a prescription. If one is a high-functioning child of professionals, much less so. Someone who is rather dysfunctional as an adult can find it very difficult, when they are precisely the group that can benefit most.
The tendency for poor undiagnosed people to attempt to self-medicate just to feel okay is considered a factor that places them at-risk to abuse the medication in the minds of many, when medicating the ADHD would be extremely helpful to reduce self-medication in many situations.
Adult non-professionals and "losers" who have managed to get diagnosed, a huge hurdle in and of itself, often face an uphill battle to get a prescription, much of which is unnecessary and based in classism and racism.
Nope, I'm in Alabama, where I cannot get more than 30 days supply at a time, and must meet monthly with a psychiatrist in an area where almost no doctors are taking new patients, and even once you're an existing patient, appointments can be impossible to get. It can take me weeks just to get a call back from my doctor's office. Supply is regularly interrupted, and it can take weeks to get a prescription refilled.
I knew beforehand even (guessed at least), but I put off doing anything about it. I didn't realize how much it was affecting me. And how many unhealthy coping mechanisms I had built up in my life.
If it's within your means to do so, I can't stress enough how much better it is knowing, for sure.