I don't know if I have ADHD, but if I do an online survey it says I most probably definitely do. I was never diagnosed as a child because I largely functioned as a kid and was quiet and non-disruptive, but looking back the signs were all there.
Fast forward as an adult I have a number of coping mechanisms and one of them is to have something on in the background. I have never associated the effectiveness with the noise itself, but rather with something that is keeping part of my brain quiet. It prevents my mind from wandering. It is ideally something I already know. Like a show I have seen before or a podcast that I am okay not fully retaining. Not enough stimulation and I get distracted easily, too much stimulation and I shut down completely. Music doesn't usually work for me.
> I was never diagnosed as a child because I largely functioned as a kid and was quiet and non-disruptive
Those pesky ADHD-Impulsive giving us a bad name.
Same here, diagnosed but I was the most calm and polite kid ever. The hyperactivity is inside my head. There's a hamster running in circles at 9000 RPM and it's never taken a break.
"You're overthinking it", people say to me. You have no idea.
I’m guilty of overthinking everything. It’s come in handy as a programmer but it tends to hold me back socially.
I’d often think about social interactions ahead of time. My brain would create countless situations that I’d play out. Once I exhausted one situation, I jump into analyzing the next possible situation. On and on I’d go.
I’ve only recently been able to quiet down my beehive brain a bit thanks to a few realizations I came to about the damage it was doing to me:
- Even after analyzing 100 different possibilities, reality would often be much different than the scenarios I thought about.
- When the situation didn’t play out exactly as I’d imagined, I’d still react instantly without thinking through the new variances. In my foolishness, the unexpected scenario seemed close enough to the ones I had already thought about, so I’d respond off the cuff.
In reality, things were different enough that a pause to think would’ve been better.
- Thinking through 100 different scenarios also meant going through the emotional baggage that came with them. In my mind, sometimes people reacted positively and sometimes negatively.
Imagining all the negative ways someone could react would lead me to attributing negative feelings to them, even though they haven’t responded negatively.
On the flip side, if I attributed a specific positive outcome to someone that didn’t live up to my exact interpretation, I’d end up feeling disappointed with an outcome I should’ve been happy with.
- Lastly, I’d push to resolve a situation immediately because I didn’t want to go through another beehive of scenarios while waiting to continue the conversation another time.
Sometimes that push to resolve the conflict resulted in a positive breakthrough. However, other times the person would agree to a certain resolution due to sheer exhaustion which leave us with an unsustainable outcome.
Of course, there were other things that helped calm my brain down. Things that helped me take a step towards these realizations and act on them.
Hopefully, my comment can be one of those steps for someone else.
This resonates with me a lot. I can be quite genial in social settings, but it's extremely taxing to my psyche because I unwillingly rehearse and predict all possible outcomes and how would I react. I catch myself having had a mental back-and-forth between myself and the person I have to meet, and if it's to be a particularly unpleasant occasion, I will have a heated argument all in my head that leaves me upset for hours.
Thanks, it means a lot to know my comment help others! I thought it was going to be buried and didn’t expect an upvote, much less getting replies that it was helpful.
It’s tough to share many of the other steps I’ve taken on a public forum. Honestly, I doubt they’d be as helpful as my previous comment because they’re so personal. Because they are so specific to me.
However, I can share that group therapy is the main resource I used to take those steps. I highly recommend it.
What’s nice about group is that I get to hear various perspectives on a situation. Everyone there has gone through somewhat similar struggles but their interpretations of those struggles are different.
As each person speaks, I find a nugget of wisdom that I can use. A bit of insight that I wouldn’t realize on my own. A phrase that finally helps a concept click in my head.
Of course 1-on-1 therapy is helpful too but group is a treasure trove of insight for personal growth.
That sounds similar to me. I was diagnosed unexpectedly at 38 and it changed my life. There is a good chance your internalised coping mechanisms are adding undue stress to your nervous system, making you tired and depressed, and ironically exacerbating the conditions for symptoms to become more disruptive (when you're tired, aren't eating properly, hyperfocusing too much and wearing yourself out, working late nights to catch up and not getting enough sleep, rinse, repeat, constant burnout).
If it's within your means to do so, I can't stress enough how much better it is knowing, for sure.
Same, except aged 28. I completely randomly happened to stumble upon a detailed description of inattentive ADHD, and had the thought, "Hmm, I wonder how doctors are able to differentiate between someone who has these symptoms and has ADHD, and someone like me who has these symptoms but doesn't have ADHD."
Then it hit me like a brick wall. Now I understand the phrase "it was like time stopped." Blinders came off and I felt like I re-evaluated every life experience I'd had in about 30 seconds. Two doctors appointments later I was hearing "Oh yes, you certainly have intense ADHD, the question is just how intense."
ADHD affects so many things as you mention. For me, getting treated has nearly entirely eliminated all forms of anxiety. For instance, I was a socially anxious mess in any sort of group setting; now I intentionally seek out conversations and enjoy telling stories. Some days I hardly recognize the old me. Strange feeling.
But yes, diagnosis + treatment highly recommended. Untreated ADHD increases your risk factors for so many things -- for instance, substance issues (NIH estimates fully 50% of people with substance issues have ADHD whether they know it or not).
I thought about getting diagnosed too, but to be frank, while I certainly wanna try those meds, I don't wanna take them for the rest of my life, let alone pay for them on a regular basis.
Yeah. Also, some countries still treat anyone with any kind of official mental "unusualness" as needing to be thrown in a looney bin. :(
Additionally, it's an unknown how long the current acceptance of ADHD (etc) will last in modern / western countries. We could just be going through a limited-time golden period.
That's not the biggest worry. The largest psychological hurdle is seeing how much better your brain is with an illegal medication, and accepting the very uncomfortable truth that a pill that's often maligned, misunderstood, abused, and controlled is the difference between a fulfilling life and a slow spiral into the Abyss. Your fortune is not completely in your control.
As someone that has relied on himself all of his life, this idea still is very hard to live with.
I'm of two minds on this. Having taken them before and quitting, I know that you definitely can. But also once you see the kind of person you can be with medication, the really low unmedicated days feel extra hard compared to the effortlessness of the best medicated days.
I tried just one medicine at different dose levels for a few months and then stopped. Never figured out a long-term solution because I didn't take it long-term.
It is interesting you say this. While I have never been diagnosed ADHD I have been diagnosed with anxiety and was on SSRIs for about a year, which did help tremendously, but there were side effects and ultimately I decided I was in a place I could manage without the medication and so far have.
I am interested in if you could elaborate on how ADHD medication helps you with anxiety.
I've mentioned this before but there are serious warnings against getting tested in Sweden.
I was told that it can affect my health insurance, my mortgage and that I can't hold certain licenses (Pilot, HGV).
There are some direct consequences to being diagnosed and some indirect ones; and they warn that once the process of getting diagnosed starts; it cannot be stopped.
So, of course, I didn't seek a diagnosis- despite having many ADHD markers.
Another Swede here. I have never heard any of this before. Who told you this? I mean.. health insurance? You mean if you have supplemental private insurance? Mortgage? I have a mortgage and they have no access to any kind of health information and I would be very surprised if any bank would request it from me.
The information I got was from a company called Modigo but it was already discussed with my private psychologist; So Modigo just clarified what I had been told and had understood in writing.
Regarding the mortgage thing, I had the same feeling as you, but how it works is that mortgages are cheaper if you buy them with private insurance (income protection, life insurance).
For example: Nordea (a bank) and “If” (an insurance company) have a close partnership offering discounts for each others services when buying an apartment or house. Based on the information If gives backs to Nordea there can be greater discounts on mortgages; this worked in my favour previously and I got a 1.34% mortgage when the list price for 3y fixed was 2.1%.
It could be expanded further to say that if “If” considers me too high risk from various factors regarding my health that they would not even offer me health insurance at all, then the bank could use as justification itself that I am high risk and not extend a loan offer.
This sounds like it should be illegal imo. I’m not Swedish but your country strikes me as one where there are lots of protections for all kinds of people. Your (mental) health status really shouldn’t have an impact on whether or not you can get a mortgage, you cannot change anything about that. To me it sounds just as bad as profiling based on race or gender.
It's common for gender to be a factor in insurance. It's starting to become illegal, but it's a fairly recent thing. Most states allow it, California banned it in 2019.
I was diagnosed but also have High Blood Pressure (HBP), genetics, and most of the meds we tested cause an uncomfortable rise in pressure that just wasn't worth it.
My coping mechanisms are what I have left I suppose.
In Switzerland you can get dextroamphetamine made by a pharma chain from here. Other than ritalin and Adderal that are also commonly available, it's not only much cheaper (no brand licenses), but also way more effective with less side effects.
Pretty sure it doesn't help with blood pressure, but especially the way to common Ritalin comes with weird side effects that most people likely won't enjoy.
Thanks so much for this link. Super helpful. Went through them and found commenters who had hbp. guanfacine was a recommendation to try. I'll see if I can get a hold of some... not sure.
I did, my Blood Pressure is not great either but luckily, not enough to prevent taking anything, but enough to be careful. I'm in ok shape, not the best I've ever been in, but not terrible. I just take something to help reduce my heart rate at night.
Unfortunately stimulants don't have much of an affect on me so I take quite a high dose at the moment. I'm doing all the suggested things to help them along, like increasing protein, getting more Zinc, Magnesium, Vitamin D etc, staying away from citrus. Ensuring good sleep hygiene.
I see a psychologist regularly to unpick the weight of all the masking and coping mechanisms. It's a long process, but making much more progress than when I thought it was just depression and perfectionism issues.
I'm starting Neurofeedback to see if that helps and planning to use an ADHD specific performance coach in the new year to help with work.
You might discuss an SSRI with your docs if you don't already take one. They can help with the depression, and seem to promote neurogenesis which can help the re-wiring process. Of course they can have side effects.
Warning: SSRIs are highly habit forming despite not being scheduled as narcotics. They cause intense physical dependence. In my opinion, the juice is not worth the squeeze.
Question: what's the issue with citrus in this regard? Does it make long-acting medications not work as intended? My doctor never mentioned anything about citrus so I'm curious. thanks
Citrus (grapefruit is probably the worst offender) inhibits your body's absorption of some medications, so taking both in conjunction can become toxic over time.
fwiw, i got diagnosed earlier this year and have a background of high blood pressure. the doc prescribed me clonidine alongside my stimulant which has kept my blood pressure around normal levels.
Besides stimulants there are a lot of effective interventions for ADHD. There is good literature behind balance exercises, vigorous cardio exercise, sleep adjustment, ADHD specific therapy, and coaching. Once you're diagnosed, you have access to meds and a directive from your doctor to get therapy. Don't take the common advice and seek Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT doesn't work very well for ADHD, we tend to try to outsmart the process.
Mostly the benefit is understanding yourself and allowing a measure of grace for your challenges. It helps you calibrate your goals, and be self aware when making decisions that you may be suffering an executive function deficit, and to seek known good supports for managing impulse control challenges.
There was a time when I started taking stimulant meds, but still felt the need to finish off-topic ideas to completion. It took a lot of learning to understand that my instincts need scrutiny, and that I don't have to beat myself up for not being able to do impossible things on a regular basis.
I like myself better. I get more of the important stuff done. I can even relax from time to time. I also accept that I will always have some unique struggles and special abilities.
Interesting regarding CBT, matches my experiences. I'd also add that the CBT classes, to a guy like me, is SO FREAKING BORING. This is really hard to beat if you have poorly controlled ADHD.
CBT strategies are probably good for everyone to familiarize themselves with. You can probably use things like grounding at the very least. I found it useful. Some relaxation techniques could be valuable.
Stimulant access is becoming a massive issue these days. I think we need legislation that grants it as a right to people with ADHD or narcolepsy. I think there's even a case for legalization.
Relationships with psychs can be complicated, and the medical industry is not very kind to ADHD. eg. you can get fired by your psych and be abandoned with medication, basically for having ADHD.
People with ADHD are perceived to have behavioral problems. Those same problems can be used as an excuse not to treat you.
For me it allowed to stop blaming myself for the ADHD symptoms. I'm not lazy, I'm not failing. You can't imagine how much pressure that took off, and how much better I am doing as a consequence.
Access to medication, which is reported to work well in conjunction with targeted therapy such as cognitive behavioral therapy.
For more info see the book "Taking Charge of Adult ADHD" by Russel Barkley https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462546854 and the DIVA-5 test that many physicians use as part of the diagnosis process https://www.divacenter.eu (costs 10 EUR to download the PDF).
Acknowledging the problem (regardless of what one calls it) allows one to seek out solutions. If the problem has a name e.g., ADHD, one might notice a HN post about brown noise for ADHD treatment, open it and find a possible drug-free remedy that's possibly effective for them.
There is a lot of overlap in symptoms with other conditions. OCD, Autism, MDD etc.
Knowing exactly what the underlying issue is gives you the best way forward in treating effectively.
There is strong clustering for sure, but also good and recent evidence that ASD, ADHD, and ASD + ADHD (the community has adopted the term Audhd) are distinct at a genetic level. Those and related comorbidities are tied to dopamine transport, and thought to be strongly impacted by endocrine disruption. Brain scans reveal most differences in the basil ganglia and cerebellum, and then downstream dysfunction in the frontal lobe with executive function and sensory processing issues.
Extensive testing can yield pretty specific and accurate results. You won't get that from an hour one session but my testing took ~ 15 hours total. Expensive but worth it for me.
For me, lots of things I used to struggle with suddenly made sense and now I have strategies for coping with them that actually work. Whereas previously I would try various strategies and end up hating myself when they didn't work.
I used to drink far too much - that was a way for me to quiet the noise in my head - and now I'm aware (and have meds), I can drink sensibly.
I used to be late for everything - this is because I hate waiting and would rather have been late than have to kill ten minutes doing nothing. Now I know, I give myself things to do before the meeting (or whatever) starts.
I used to have a long-running internal conflict between my need to plan and control everything and my desire to "go with the flow" and take things as they come. Now I understand there are some things that I need to keep tight control over and all the rest I can just let it happen.
It's possible I would have come across these strategies without the diagnosis, but I'm in my late 40s and was only diagnosed last year. I had been failing with all the strategies I had tried and it was resulting in me hating myself and feeling inadequate that I was unable to cope with things everyone else seemed to find easy. But now I know the cause, I know where my boundaries are and what I can and can't "fix".
(As for blood pressure - mine was borderline high but it actually fell once I started taking the meds - I assume this is because I was actually more relaxed and able to cope with life).
It is only because of shit opinions like this that the stimulant medications (which many ADHD sufferers are prescribed) are still so difficult to get. Draconian laws based on racist and classist ideals by non-medical professionals created 50 years ago make these life-changing medications difficult to use uninterrupted due to the excessive amount of regulation surrounding just getting them filled at a pharmacy. These are not street drugs nor are they used recreationally, rather they are prescribed under the strict supervision of a qualified medical professional and that should be the end of any discussion.
It is very difficult in many parts of the US to get a prescription. If one is a high-functioning child of professionals, much less so. Someone who is rather dysfunctional as an adult can find it very difficult, when they are precisely the group that can benefit most.
The tendency for poor undiagnosed people to attempt to self-medicate just to feel okay is considered a factor that places them at-risk to abuse the medication in the minds of many, when medicating the ADHD would be extremely helpful to reduce self-medication in many situations.
Adult non-professionals and "losers" who have managed to get diagnosed, a huge hurdle in and of itself, often face an uphill battle to get a prescription, much of which is unnecessary and based in classism and racism.
Nope, I'm in Alabama, where I cannot get more than 30 days supply at a time, and must meet monthly with a psychiatrist in an area where almost no doctors are taking new patients, and even once you're an existing patient, appointments can be impossible to get. It can take me weeks just to get a call back from my doctor's office. Supply is regularly interrupted, and it can take weeks to get a prescription refilled.
I knew beforehand even (guessed at least), but I put off doing anything about it. I didn't realize how much it was affecting me. And how many unhealthy coping mechanisms I had built up in my life.
FWIW, this is exactly what it's like for me too - "Not enough stimulation and I get distracted easily, too much stimulation and I shut down completely."
I was diagnosed at 22, ironically after I graduated from college after struggling to study effectively and fortunately by complete willpower and energy drinks managed to have decent grades.
Get a recommendation for a neuropsych and get a diagnosis. People here love to objectify and hate on anyone using stimulants. A 5mg dose of stimulants daily has quite literally changed my life. You don't have to live wondering what you could've been cognitively capable of.
Agree, the real wake up for me was when I wasn't just able to focus at work, but felt calm on my drive home, didn't feel anxious while sitting and talking over dinner, etc.. My initial goal was to leverage the racy, focused energy of stimulants to get work done, but I ended up most enjoying feeling calm and present hours after that part has faded.
I've been diagnosed with ADHD and I have the exact same coping mechanism. Another I have is to use Pomodoro timers and todo lists religiously. What other coping mechanisms do you have?
Similar. I put every appointment or meeting in my calendar immediately, take as many notes as I can, and keep to do lists by due date. For me a lot of it is just offloading things to my phone / computer because I know I will forget. If something isn't in my calendar it might as well not be happening. Doesn't matter what it is.
lofi hip hop seems to work pretty well, but there usually are three stages:
- I don't get into the groove despite the music
- Something clicks and I get into the groove
- I'm so deeply in the groove that even lofi hip hop bothers me, so I turn it off and go ham
Also I find it funny that lofi hip hop has an alternate title of "beats to relax/study to"--I used to listen to it while studying in college, but now I use it for working on personal projects or at work.
Lofi-girl helps me too, it's completely out of my traditional musical tastes but there's something in it that makes me start working. I also have to turn it off eventually though, I find I need to revert to silence after a while for some reason. And if I notice a beat or tune I've heard before, it can rip me out of concentration.
Yes it's hard to say. Sometimes it's when I feel like it's a natural time for a break, but also maybe whatever it is (that the audio tickles in my brain) becomes fatigued or used up.
Either way the silence gives a great feeling of relief. I sleep with a noise generator in my room and can't really do without it (tiny noises fill me with adrenaline at night) but when I wake up and turn it off my body loves me for returning the silence.
I use video game soundtracks. They tend to be designed to hit that sweet spot of easy to tune out but engaging enough to placate a distracted brain. A few I can recommend:
Samarost 3
Hundered Days
Far Lone Sails
Far Changing Tides
Obduction and Myst series
The Red Strings Club
Conspiravision (which is a remake of Deus Ex OST)
Hyper Light Drifter
I really like 'Groove Salad' from SomaFM for when I need to focus, it helps get me into a better flow state than anything else I've tried. However, there are times when I know I need to turn it on but don't/can't which is less helpful!
I fully understand. I do much of the same. Work from home. Keep the fan on at all times for the noise. Have one monitor playing content-less videos on a loop. For me personally, train cab ride videos and asmr massage do the trick. There's nothing to follow. The content is relaxing. It does the trick. I used to follow a couple of Buddhist podcasts where the speaker is calm & measured. Never paid much attention to the content, but the voices helped immensely.
Anyways, thanks for sharing. It's a little good to know I'm not unique in these tactics.
I work in an open-plan office and headphones with brown-noise or the right-type of music is absolutely essential. The thing is, you can only do that for so long. At some point you get tired of the headphones.
I feel like I might "snap" one of these days and start telling people to STFU. The noise is dominated by a couple of people who, for whatever reason, can't seem to modulate their volume. Perhaps there's a name for that disorder as well?
In the meantime, my workplace has "focus rooms" which I use a few times a week. Since there's a box of tissues in there, I refer to them as crying rooms :-).
How do you feel afterwards? Let's say after a hard working session with music on. Because I just like you, use music for concentration and I can pull some long hours, but afterwards I have difficulties calming down. Maybe it's because I am tired, but I have some suspicion that the dopamine hit from music might be the culprit.
Good question. I think my ears usually get physically tired before I get to that point... However, on the downsides, it can turn into an earworm in the evening. Or the rest of the day can feel depressingly bland compared to the emotional elation that got me through the work session.
Didn't realise this was a common coping mechanism till I asked around and both my brothers do it (Adult ADHD diagnosis) and one friend (Also diagnosed).
There are 7 distinct types of ADHD according to recent brain scan research. you have what I have which is type two with internal HD not external HD.
I did find that Rhodiola, Green Tea extract, Raw Cacao, and low dose of L-DOPA, and
Lions mane does make an impact in helping me handle it as now I notice I am starting to get to the point of mind-seeing code which is a first with me in that I have 4+decades of my ADHD being uncontrolled(mind seeing code happens at about the
6 month point after you get the right med doses settled)
What's working for me is listening to the same lofi channel, which helps me focus without being disturbed by the music because it's, hmm, generically bland. Like some brain filling. But still enjoyable. (a bit harsh definition for a genre I like)
I become too emotionally invested when I listen to any other kind of music.
I've been diagnosed 3 years ago and I used to use the exact same coping mechanism as you do. I'd watch a show I've seen before while working on things. Music also worked for me to a lesser degrees but only if there's no vocals.
Getting diagnosed was one of the best thing I could have done. Knowing for sure, being able to use medication (although I limit very strictly how much I use) has been super helpful. I got tested privately, without involving health insurance. I didn't want it to be on any public records.
I feel the same way, but still wanted music in the background. This channel was a great balance since I can't understand the lyrics, but the tunes are catchy enough to hum to sometimes. https://www.youtube.com/@MyAnalogJournal
Fast forward as an adult I have a number of coping mechanisms and one of them is to have something on in the background. I have never associated the effectiveness with the noise itself, but rather with something that is keeping part of my brain quiet. It prevents my mind from wandering. It is ideally something I already know. Like a show I have seen before or a podcast that I am okay not fully retaining. Not enough stimulation and I get distracted easily, too much stimulation and I shut down completely. Music doesn't usually work for me.