Arguments based on "most people" are not compelling to me. To me, the correct standard to measure my performance against is my potential. And I know I fall far short. I feel I should have accomplished more by now, I could have. I know others have.
I too feel the call of new ideas all the time, and have the same lack of discipline. I've brought precious few of my ideas to state that could possibly be called "done", and none to the glorious state I had imagined. I'm not even talking about making money, just making good stuff for people to enjoy. Perhaps the biggest difference between me and the author is that I'm still only 20 and still in school. To accomplish half the things I want to before I die, I'll have to grow a ton more self-discipline, and sometimes I wonder if I can do it.
To tell me and people like me "relax, other people are lazy too" is not that helpful. It's true, "most people" never fully realize their potential. They have all kinds of bad habits and issues. When have other people's mistakes been an excuse for mine?
I think the point is more like, "Don't worry so much, you're not the only fool on HN who hasn't yet mustered a billion-dollar exit".
In a community with a notable amount of awesome people, sometimes it starts to feel like everyone else is experiencing nothing but resounding success, which makes your modest successes feel like abject failures. This can be... demoralizing. Remembering the wild successes are the exception, not the rule, is an important piece of perspective.
> I feel I should have accomplished more by now, I could have.
Perhaps the I could have is the little lie we tell ourselves to soften the blow to our ego. Something to think about.
The problem with living inside your own head is that unlike everyone else, you judge yourself by what you think you could be rather than what you are. It's a sort of self deception at play.
> The problem with living inside your own head is that unlike everyone else, you judge yourself by what you think you could be rather than what you are. It's a sort of self deception at play.
I really like what you said here. When I think about my more "well-adjusted" friends, I see that they have a solid set of criteria to compare their achievements against: a decent job, an apartment, having friends. It amounts to a basic societal checklist that they can succeed against.
Living in your own head is like extending the goal every time you reach it. It's like having a carrot attached to a stick that moves with you.
I have this conversation with my wife occasionally.
Those moving goalposts are the difference between 'doing ok' and 'making progress'.
I had a solid job, benefits, place of my own to live, friends, and a spouse at 25. I went stir-crazy though - at that point, you've 'succeeded', what is left to do? What's next?
To muddy the metaphor a little - once you've mastered the 30yard field goal, why keep kicking it? Back up and try the 40, 50, etc. That said, I do think it's important to remember that you have mastered the 30, and that failure at the 80 isn't 'failure' in anybody but your own eyes.
The 'blow to our ego' here is the realization that maybe you're not as awesome as you think that you are, and all of the "I could haves" are really lies, because you couldn't have. At least that's my interpretation of that comment.
I don't know. The idea that you had the skill to do something amazing, but not the discipline to follow through seems to imply that you couldn't do it.
For example, say you see discipline and skill as the two ingredients need to do something amazing. It's easy to say "I had the skill, but not the discipline, I could have done it." But is that really any different than saying, "I had the discipline, but not the skill, I could have done it." Discipline is probably just as difficult as the raw development skills to master, yet it's really easy to convince ourselves that it's just a matter of 'doing it.'
Maybe it's more that I could have gained the skill if I'd worked harder. I fully realize that discipline is harder than raw development skills to learn, and that it's the critical ingredient in any major venture. I understand that, but when I have to really work to finish something I tend to fall down. Which is why it makes me feel horrible.
I'm not saying "relax, other people are lazy too". That's the other extreme.
Not all of us are Jeff Bezos or John Carmack. But we're not all Homer Simpsons either. There's a healthy, realistic middle ground in there somewhere.
If you feel you are a Bezos, then by all means go for it. I'm sure many on HN feel they are that and many are probably correct, too. But I'm also not sure it's healthy to cut ourselves down and hate on ourselves because we might not be living up to an unrealistic standard.
I too feel the call of new ideas all the time, and have the same lack of discipline. I've brought precious few of my ideas to state that could possibly be called "done", and none to the glorious state I had imagined. I'm not even talking about making money, just making good stuff for people to enjoy. Perhaps the biggest difference between me and the author is that I'm still only 20 and still in school. To accomplish half the things I want to before I die, I'll have to grow a ton more self-discipline, and sometimes I wonder if I can do it.
To tell me and people like me "relax, other people are lazy too" is not that helpful. It's true, "most people" never fully realize their potential. They have all kinds of bad habits and issues. When have other people's mistakes been an excuse for mine?