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> The problem with living inside your own head is that unlike everyone else, you judge yourself by what you think you could be rather than what you are. It's a sort of self deception at play.

I really like what you said here. When I think about my more "well-adjusted" friends, I see that they have a solid set of criteria to compare their achievements against: a decent job, an apartment, having friends. It amounts to a basic societal checklist that they can succeed against.

Living in your own head is like extending the goal every time you reach it. It's like having a carrot attached to a stick that moves with you.




I have this conversation with my wife occasionally.

Those moving goalposts are the difference between 'doing ok' and 'making progress'.

I had a solid job, benefits, place of my own to live, friends, and a spouse at 25. I went stir-crazy though - at that point, you've 'succeeded', what is left to do? What's next?

To muddy the metaphor a little - once you've mastered the 30yard field goal, why keep kicking it? Back up and try the 40, 50, etc. That said, I do think it's important to remember that you have mastered the 30, and that failure at the 80 isn't 'failure' in anybody but your own eyes.


Aka "moving goalposts". I know the feeling oh-so-well, for I have inflicted it upon myself all my life.




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