You ever find it harder to find when you looking intentionally, but find it easily when you were least expecting? So having moved a lot, finding friends became a fruitless endeavor. So many don't set roots down when in midst of the careers. So find most of my relationships all transitional. I have a need to have a friend i can count on but uncertain of where I'm settling. I keep thinking if it's worth my time to find a friend during these transitional times in my life? When I know with good amount of certainty I won't be here long enough to establish a sound relationship and if I do, I'll do the disservice to uprooting it by moving. Thinking it's almost selfish to try.
So I came to the conclusion although not finding much in way of friends, thought to turn to talking to random strangers to see what turns up.
Friendship for men is a sad state of affairs. Especially, here in California where most are and even though I'm from the midwest, I feel like I moved to a different country.
Work "friends" haven't worked out because no one stays long enough or connections deep enough to stay connected i find. Few factors; language, culture, race, heritage.
Neighbor "friends" intent to be transitional. As soon as the house get appraised 2x, they are outta here, but also language, culture, race, heritage.
Meetups(.com) never worked. Unless you like "working the crowd" for a potential suitor. How do you walk the room looking a bit desperate and targeting people to strike up conversations. Men just don't do that. Most look awkward, eat/drink in a corner and leave as soon as they can. I'm here on HN for years, have tried contacting some directly and through comments, but not a single one had the courtesy of replying back.
Churches. And if the relationship doesn't workout? You ignore him at every service? Or you find a different church? Or be gossiped out of the community because you crave Metallica? My In-law parents went this route. And now they've ran out of churches to escape fruitless baseless gossips.
There has to be a way for men to meet other men without looking like you want an affair or belittled or berated for being you.
ugh. Men being men suck. World wide. They need to get over it.
However, like you, I too have a thought asto how one could overcome this. It centers around an idea of getting an attention for your "idea." And I put idea in quotes because it's not actually an idea but a thought. However, it isn't reddit where 90% of the time you're talking to a 15yr old. As they say, a need is the mother of invention.
So I came to the conclusion although not finding much in way of friends, thought to turn to talking to random strangers to see what turns up.
Friendship for men is a sad state of affairs. Especially, here in California where most are and even though I'm from the midwest, I feel like I moved to a different country.
Work "friends" haven't worked out because no one stays long enough or connections deep enough to stay connected i find. Few factors; language, culture, race, heritage.
Neighbor "friends" intent to be transitional. As soon as the house get appraised 2x, they are outta here, but also language, culture, race, heritage.
Meetups(.com) never worked. Unless you like "working the crowd" for a potential suitor. How do you walk the room looking a bit desperate and targeting people to strike up conversations. Men just don't do that. Most look awkward, eat/drink in a corner and leave as soon as they can. I'm here on HN for years, have tried contacting some directly and through comments, but not a single one had the courtesy of replying back.
Churches. And if the relationship doesn't workout? You ignore him at every service? Or you find a different church? Or be gossiped out of the community because you crave Metallica? My In-law parents went this route. And now they've ran out of churches to escape fruitless baseless gossips.
There has to be a way for men to meet other men without looking like you want an affair or belittled or berated for being you.
ugh. Men being men suck. World wide. They need to get over it.
However, like you, I too have a thought asto how one could overcome this. It centers around an idea of getting an attention for your "idea." And I put idea in quotes because it's not actually an idea but a thought. However, it isn't reddit where 90% of the time you're talking to a 15yr old. As they say, a need is the mother of invention.