The fact that you are posting this suggests your ethics are good.
The way people engage ethical questions is very complex. One way of looking at this is along the emotion vs. logic spectrum. Both strategies work, but have different advantages and require different feedback loops to improve. But it is our collective responsibility to engage those feedback loops as much as possible (which you're doing by your posting, which I think took courage).
On this particular issue it seems you're more towards the logic end. That's fine. If that makes you uncomfortable, that's ok. Dig a little but don't judge yourself - this only hurts the process.
At the end of the day, in the words of Batman: "It's not who you are that defines you, it's what you do."
Edit, for anecdata: I lost a parent to disease early in life, and it took me years to come to terms with the fact that I very rarely feel any emotion about it. Interestingly, I find my reaction changed with age.
The way people engage ethical questions is very complex. One way of looking at this is along the emotion vs. logic spectrum. Both strategies work, but have different advantages and require different feedback loops to improve. But it is our collective responsibility to engage those feedback loops as much as possible (which you're doing by your posting, which I think took courage).
On this particular issue it seems you're more towards the logic end. That's fine. If that makes you uncomfortable, that's ok. Dig a little but don't judge yourself - this only hurts the process.
At the end of the day, in the words of Batman: "It's not who you are that defines you, it's what you do."
Edit, for anecdata: I lost a parent to disease early in life, and it took me years to come to terms with the fact that I very rarely feel any emotion about it. Interestingly, I find my reaction changed with age.