This point is so good, and so subtle, I'll try to expand on it.
In tech teams the saying that "the best idea always win" is commonly believed. But the more experienced know that first and foremost groups are social and there are certain folks within the group who throw out an idea and everyone is willing to give it a shot. Whereas someone else in the group with less authority or social status or persuasiveness may have presented the same idea first only hears everyone saying "we're too busy", or poking holes in it not to make it stronger but to avoid doing it altogether.
How does this relate back to forgiveness over permission. Because with forgiveness the person is humbling themselves to the superior or group and falling back in line. That's more psychologically pleasing as the superior or group gets to reassert their will over a person again. Permission (especially if its not related to something they were assigned to do) can come across as diverting off course and pulling peoples will towards theirs, more so if the request requires action on their part.
Often the outcomes play out as much on power and us as social beings as we are rational.
> Permission (especially if its not related to something they were assigned to do) can come across as diverting off course and pulling peoples will towards theirs, more so if the request requires action on their part.
That's so true. I feel like most of the time asking for permission also comes with request to take responsibility for your actions and help. You ask for permission, they have to trust and help you. Too much to ask.
Honestly, I've been living for 25 years and I'm not sure I've EVER seen anybody give permission in this sense to anybody. If it happens, it's something different. Either the person giving permission doesn't care or the person asking for permission really notifying in the form of asking permission. Or somebody didn't have time or energy to think properly. Or was deceived. So on. I don't know, maybe I'm taking in too far. But in any case asking for permission is weak and rude coming from position of lesser authority, and nice otherwise.
Also I should note that this authority dynamic changes with rapid pace from context to context. Everything affects it: one moment you are supposed to be meek subordinate programmer and the other you're expected to be highly qualified professional with key domain knowledge. I belive there can even be dozens conflicting beliefs, each with different strength. Those are in short memory, then there are thousands more withing short reach, and millions possible depending on what happens in the next few seconds.
It means you're are not doomed and can navigate your way out of many difficult social situations and get what you want anyway, regardless of your social status. Most likely your status is fine. Most likely all this dynamics can be circumvented with a few jokes and uplifting remarks.
How does this relate back to forgiveness over permission. Because with forgiveness the person is humbling themselves to the superior or group and falling back in line. That's more psychologically pleasing as the superior or group gets to reassert their will over a person again. Permission (especially if its not related to something they were assigned to do) can come across as diverting off course and pulling peoples will towards theirs, more so if the request requires action on their part.
Often the outcomes play out as much on power and us as social beings as we are rational.