There is nothing that can be said or done to fix this pain.
Today I did a funeral for a friend of 20+ years who died far too young. After the funeral I sat with another family as they made the decision to turn off life support for the matriarch of the family.
I can not sleep. The grief of death can make living insurmountable.
Even in this suffering your life can have meaning.
“In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.”
― Viktor E. Frankl
It is ok to hurt.
My best advice is to find community that will love you and your wife and hold space as you find meaning. A faith community and/or a grief support group is a great place to look.
You are not alone. I hope you find comfort from the many caring responses in this thread.
Victor Frankl’s book “Man’s Search For Meaning” has helped me.
Look me up if you want to talk. Same twitter username.
I tried signal, matrix, Riot, Slack, Discord, Messenger, Hangouts, and Keybase is by far the best option.
It is in an uncertain place though since Zoom bought them and moved its developers to work on Zoom. There has only been one small update to Keybase since zoom purchased them.
While it's not getting updated I don't have any worries about the reliability of its existing security. It's not perfect but it's pretty mature and feature-rich.
I was pretty surprised that Quarter Pine was featured in this article. We get our tree from them every year. I paid $60 for the tree and gave the guy who loaded it $5 tip.
The cool thing about Quarter Pine is they suspend the tree and drill a hole in the bottom of the trunk. They sell a special stand with a peg you put the tree on. It’s the slickest experience I’ve had with a real tree stand.
I find it best to deploy something as soon as I buy the domain. I try to setup the CI/CD pipeline from day 1 with the framework of my choice and an ugly landing page. That first deploy is a fairly easy early win. And then I’m motivated to keep iterating.
Depending on the tone that could show a lot of self awareness. I’d respond “I totally understand! That’s why we said at the get go this stuff is hard. Sometimes we can’t see what we want till we try to build it. Let’s figure out what’s off about this and setup some more sprints.”
I very much took the tone to mean: "I'm a very senior manager at this company and I can be as unreasonable as I want and you can't do much about it".
It was an internal project at a large company and there was a fair amount of politics. I just loved how he managed to say something like that without a trace of contrition - not like this was the first time he'd seen it.
OP didn’t say he was afraid, but that it was unnecessary which is objectively true - I don’t personally have a belief in gods, you have a belief in a particular god but we can both get value out of acceptance and serenity.
You get value out of peace and serenity, yes? So do I. I take you at your word that you believe in a particular god, I would assume you take me at my word that I don’t believe in any gods.
If both of those things are true, then gods are not required to take value out of the idea of serenity. The only way that this could not be true as if one of us are lying.
I’ll second the 50+ yr olduser testing request. I’m a very satisfied 1Password user/subscriber. It felt very intuitive to me until I setup my in-laws and other consulting clients who are small business owners.
The biggest pain point is creating a new login on iOS in safari. I understand the iOS limitations on browser hooks, but walking a user through creating a new login on iOS over the phone was a test of supernatural patience.
If they create the new login in the app instead of safari then they have to type a URL (or it won’t show up in safari) which for an older person who doesn’t really understand websites have addresses is like asking them to calculate the shortest superpermutation of n=7 “real quick”.
I believe the family plan for 1Password is fantastic. And a bunch of us have/will signup and put our aging parents on it. So a little user testing by older people where you are trying to help them over the phone would go a long way probably.
Unfortunately, the iOS side is difficult. We've done the best we can there given the limitations and our imagination at this time. It's possible we drum up a better solution in the future but we haven't had any major breakthroughs in how best to present the UI for this.
We have filed feature requests with Apple to try to get better mechanisms for making this whole process better though. Hopefully we'll see improvements down the road that help us make a better user experience.
Today I did a funeral for a friend of 20+ years who died far too young. After the funeral I sat with another family as they made the decision to turn off life support for the matriarch of the family.
I can not sleep. The grief of death can make living insurmountable.
Even in this suffering your life can have meaning.
“In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.” ― Viktor E. Frankl
It is ok to hurt.
My best advice is to find community that will love you and your wife and hold space as you find meaning. A faith community and/or a grief support group is a great place to look.
You are not alone. I hope you find comfort from the many caring responses in this thread.
Victor Frankl’s book “Man’s Search For Meaning” has helped me.
Look me up if you want to talk. Same twitter username.