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Perhaps, but I'm just not sure I would be able to let that stand, myself. And I tend to be a pretty calm and rational person.

Anyway, I don't think he "screamed foul", he just pointed out a fact. If it's deeply embarrassing to the other party, that's because that embarrassment was richly deserved, in nearly any culture.




You win by saving others face. Grace is a natural gift that's hard to fake. He got up off his seat and walk to the board to see it up close, he saw it, but then he insisted his translator call it out on the guy.

Bad things have been done to most people, but the ones you end up respecting the most are those who you see walk out, and take it with dignity, even though you know they're damn well capable of not only defending themselves, but also paying the other with far worse retribution.

He calls the guy an intellectual thief and the offense is not only taken by the exec, but whoever had the bad judgment to hire him.

I have seen this shit over and over again. When I was a teenager I worked at a restaurant were truck drivers came through the backdoor and told the frail, old Mexican guy waiting for them "to go get the boss, or someone who speaks English"; it used to piss me off, and Mr. Montoya always had the grace to smile and call one of the shift managers to go handle the delivery. He owned three shops in that strip, and four other restaurants throughout the city :-)


he insisted his translator call it out on the guy.

And, moreover, he did it in a way which caused the CEO no sense of social obligation to him. If you absolutely have to mention it, get both parties drunk prior to doing so, wait for the look of mortification, and say "Don't mention it. We're all on the same team here." The CEO now owes you a favor.


I have asked foreign clients the following question many, many times: in case they come into conflict, would you prefer me to choose the path which preserves your ego or your business interests?

Most get the hint.

(A close variation of the line works on Japanese people, too.)


In China I could be as frank as I needed to be with the business owners, they get it. But everyone beneath them had to be dealt with via signals and customs.

Same in the middle-east. It's an elaborate ceremony, communicating via intermediaries and exchanging pleasantries at dinners and formal gatherings, but as soon as you climb the ego ladder and reach the highest stakeholder you can drop ritual and say "dude, we're fucked". Sometimes you reach a very beneficial and logical agreement with The Man, then thinkup ways to rationalize it and explain it to the role-playing minions below him. Tradition and bureaucracy are often abused by selfish and incompetent people to keep status. (Once you reach the C-level contact, I recommend that you don't cut off his aides and minions; treat them as you have treated them before, when you needed access to him, that way they will not consider you a threat. As an exercise, go back to them for a few more "favors" and let them shake you up for bottles of scotch, it makes them feel in control, and when the boss has future plans with you, they "know" they will be treated.)


(A close variation of the line works in non-business interpersonal relationships, too.)


you must be good




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