I didn't downvote and it's not gray now. But I want to chime in that you aren't the only one with this fear, and it doesn't help that I know a 2-year-old who died in a canoeing accident, wearing a life-vest and with responsible adults. The canoe capsized and she got stuck in some branches and they couldn't find her in time. Every day our own mortality lurks around the edges of our own lives, but we manage to ignore it most of the time. When we feel responsible for someone else's life, though, it feels different.