People love to complain no matter what you do... let them, they're killing themselves by doing that, not you. Just keep building the free world using the tools you have, and the rest of us will surely appreciate it.
Funny thing is, before the age of throw away electronics, one could get schematics for just about anything. Today I was fixing a Lambda (now TDK) high voltage supply. The service manual has detailed schematics, parts lists, and trouble shooting procedures. All Agilent and Tektronix equipment had service manuals. One could even go to Sears and buy parts to fix the toys they sold.
I don't know if it's really manufacturers trying to protect their IP, or just not wanting to spend resources on publishing schematics and dealing with the questions from the public.
Both of the possibilities that you suggest seem logical to me. I can imagine other dimensions to it as well, not the least of which could be planned obsolescence.
Today's equipment has a lot more embedded devices such as FPGAs and microcontrollers - so it's going to be a lot more difficult to rework these parts and get firmware updates. Some parts might not be programmable in the field (i.e. they need updated before they get soldered onto the board).
So I think the romantic days are gone for a reason.
I think it's related to both of those factors, but also the continued miniaturization of parts, and the shrinking of package sizes. Rework on modern day electronics is infeasible without somewhat expensive tools and a fair amount of skill.
I was being very generous (good microscope, high-end Oki heat gun and soldering iron which professionals would use).
Chinese imports are at the $100 range for the gun and iron. Microscope, probably not unless you can get by with a USB microscope of some form. Although, you can get by with the same stuff that jewelers use (glasses, loupes, etc.)
And, I'm sorry, but good tools for doing anything cost actual money. Anvils, sledgehammers, etc. all cost near $50+ or so.
However, you are significantly underestimating the cost to hack on an Apple II. First, the Apple II was damn expensive--it was almost the price of a new CAR. Chips were way more expensive, and you needed a lot more of them. Edge connector cards and edge connectors were very expensive.
There was a reason why so many people loved the TRS-80 Color Computer for robotics and control applications for many years. It had analog ports you could get at with inexpensive connectors and the connector on the side had almost every digital signal and wasn't ferociously expensive (although, it wasn't cheap. IIRC, prototyping cards for it were in the $70 range in 1981).
Things are WAY better now for the hobbyist even with surface mount technology.