1. "Before training, the Marines reported more balanced mood levels than average college-aged men. By the time they finished, they described mood symptoms comparable to those of psychiatric patients. Ninety days later, they were just as sad and agitated."
Maybe the physical and phychlogical beat down has something
to do with mood? Plus--the realization that the military is
not quite what it promised?
2. "Serotonin, an inhibitory neurotransmitter, helps stabilize emotions." I guess that's fact these days?
Maybe you should include all the studies, along with the
metadata, and make these magical claims?
3."By Renshaw's estimates, the brain makes about 20% more dopamine in the mountains." That's quite an estimation on
a neurotransmitter that we can't even test for.
4. "SSRIs are probably no more effective than prescription-plan tic tacs." Maybe that should be the title of the article, and redact every other sentence?
5. "You tell me how Salt Lake City and Las Vegas have the same culture." You can't use Nevada(maybe the most depressed state in the nation) as a control. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas--your liver, you savings, your dignity.
6. "But 30 years after seasonal affective disorder got its name, SAD sufferers plant themselves in front of light boxes to combat the winter doldrums without anyone raising any eyebrows." Again, it's still just a theory. I've never seen a Psychiatrist pull a light box out of his locked box
of sample medications.
7. "When it comes to subjects as biologically and environmentally thorny as mental health and suicide, Renshaw said, the answer is always more research." Fine--apply for
a grant and investigate the suicide rate among the Sherapas.
8. I'm all for research, but keep it tight. Your audience
is not as nieve as we were in the 90's.
9. Personally, I found the disparity of income in the mountians of Utah very depressing. The wealthy moved in
and prices from lift tickets, rent, eating out all went up.
Plus, it went from a rural, mainly blue collar community to
more of a buttoned down place where the people talked about
investments/money over the more important things in life.
Maybe the physical and phychlogical beat down has something to do with mood? Plus--the realization that the military is not quite what it promised?
2. "Serotonin, an inhibitory neurotransmitter, helps stabilize emotions." I guess that's fact these days? Maybe you should include all the studies, along with the metadata, and make these magical claims?
3."By Renshaw's estimates, the brain makes about 20% more dopamine in the mountains." That's quite an estimation on a neurotransmitter that we can't even test for.
4. "SSRIs are probably no more effective than prescription-plan tic tacs." Maybe that should be the title of the article, and redact every other sentence?
5. "You tell me how Salt Lake City and Las Vegas have the same culture." You can't use Nevada(maybe the most depressed state in the nation) as a control. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas--your liver, you savings, your dignity.
6. "But 30 years after seasonal affective disorder got its name, SAD sufferers plant themselves in front of light boxes to combat the winter doldrums without anyone raising any eyebrows." Again, it's still just a theory. I've never seen a Psychiatrist pull a light box out of his locked box of sample medications.
7. "When it comes to subjects as biologically and environmentally thorny as mental health and suicide, Renshaw said, the answer is always more research." Fine--apply for a grant and investigate the suicide rate among the Sherapas.
8. I'm all for research, but keep it tight. Your audience is not as nieve as we were in the 90's.
9. Personally, I found the disparity of income in the mountians of Utah very depressing. The wealthy moved in and prices from lift tickets, rent, eating out all went up. Plus, it went from a rural, mainly blue collar community to more of a buttoned down place where the people talked about investments/money over the more important things in life.