They should go with "studies have shown that chemical X (found in tuna) can cause male genitalia to shrink by up to 17%". People don't care about dying 10 years sooner, but they do care about having bigger penises.
Not sure about that either. When I was in middle school Mountain Dew was said to do exactly that. I think parents and teachers just wanted kids to stay away from sugary drinks. My friends kept drinking it anyways.
