Let's say you're carrying $50K of credit card debt. Do you realize how much it costs just to service that debt? If your revenue is not greater than the minimum payments (just over the cost of interest) on that debt plus your living expenses, then you're a dead man walking. Borrowing from Peter to pay Paul works until you've max'd out your credit lines, and right now from the sounds of it you're accelerating toward that limit faster than you realize.
Focus on your cash flow. You need to be able to service that debt and pay for your cost of living. If you don't want to take a salaried job, start focussing on your consulting gigs. Preferably, find gigs that pay more. If that's not enough, take more of them (but be sure you can do the work).
I wish you luck. But it sounds to me like you're starting to realize you're in over your head and you're a bit shell shocked. I've been in your shoes, and I had to make some tough choices that involved temporarily moving back in with my parents until I got my finances under control, and working my ass off to the point where I barely got enough sleep. Thank goodness I didn't have mortgages to carry though.
Focus on your cash flow. You need to be able to service that debt and pay for your cost of living. If you don't want to take a salaried job, start focussing on your consulting gigs. Preferably, find gigs that pay more. If that's not enough, take more of them (but be sure you can do the work).
I wish you luck. But it sounds to me like you're starting to realize you're in over your head and you're a bit shell shocked. I've been in your shoes, and I had to make some tough choices that involved temporarily moving back in with my parents until I got my finances under control, and working my ass off to the point where I barely got enough sleep. Thank goodness I didn't have mortgages to carry though.