Can't we say "bitch" and "nigger" when we're talking about these words? It's really no different in my mind if we're factually discussing these words and their usage.
It helps trigger people less. As one affected person told me, it's a bit like making a violent movie, where you can either allude to the violence or show the gore outright. Really there should be no difference (or maybe alluding could theoretically be worse), but there really is a visceral difference. And I've verified this with others.
So I do it. Good to assimilate improvements to the way you do things. Better than people who stubbornly keep doing things the old way. I see this all the time in programming, in business... I'm used to people who fight self-improvement, and try to form friendships with those who don't. Why is it better to argue about it and keep screwing up, rather than simply take a sec to edit a bit of text?
I had a conversation similar to this regarding the word 'nigger'. Apparently, I took the wrong stance that we're going nowhere by continuing to "Shit our pants" whenever the word comes out just because the history behind it is ugly. Not once did I suggest that it's not an offensive term, because it is; but instead that it's only offensive now because we continue to give it power.
Sure, it's an ugly word but the sun hasn't exploded yet from anyone calling anyone by that word, not in 200 years. So why do we still demonize it?
It triggers some people, like b----. Also, saying b---- helps normalize sexism, already an obvious problem in the men's club of software. You can see this phenomenon in action among the more overtly sexist people emboldened to put people down.
I go to tech conferences and usually the only females are wives, waitstaff and salespeople. In Ruby talks, I've seen pictures of objectified, near-naked (even fully naked) females. You can support this, but I'm not.
We don't live in some egalitarian utopia. If we did, those words might be quaint. As it is, there's loads of gender violence and injustice. If you don't agree, fine; that's why there's activism. (That recent Ruby conference maybe shouldn't have been cancelled, unless there's something I haven't heard about. But certainly it does show that it's possible to strike back against stubborn misogynists.)
I wouldn't consider "bitch" a sexist word anymore as in common usage (at least the common usage I know, for the last 20 years) "bitch" can be directed at a guy or a girl.
I'm honestly and genuinely curious, I promise you this isn't snark, snide, cynicism, sarcasm or otherwise: what about the word "bitch" normalizes sexism?
The word "bitch" can mean a female dog, it can refer to the act of complaining (i.e. "stop bitching, Ron"), an annoying person-male or female ("Man, Ron sure is acting like a complaining bitch" or "Wow, that Cheryl sure knows who to be a bitch"), a frowned upon act ("Ron that sure was a bitch move to sell out your coworkers like that"). The word bitch in its versatility doesn't serve to single out one group of people; it's used to describe a lot of things.
Now tell me how has the word 'nigger' been used and how people react to "Stop being a little nigger" versus "Stop being a little bitch"? Saying the two are one in the same is trying to force PC into an affair just so you can say you waved the PC flag by comparing one word to another when it doesn't work. Grow up and stop acting like someone's word choice somehow inhibits your ability to live a normal life.
"friend", "person" (of any race), "black person who I look down on", for starters. The simple fact that the word is popular all over the Rap and Hip Hop scene suggests that its racial connotation is not the only meaning for it anymore.
That is true for most environments, but not necessarily all of them. I was going to bring up examples, but I found it funny that the only ones I thought of were probably NSFW. The work environment isn't really a place for either though.
