> their partner complains about unimportant stuff.

I can't know how you meant it, but if your partner if complaining about something 5 times a day, you might want to rethink if it's really unimportant, and understand why they care instead of "get past this stuff".

That reminds me of the guys getting dumped after 10 years of marriage complaining they genuinely have no idea why their partner left them.

unimportant stuff = syntax errors

communication = both parties learning to communicate in effective ways

"tab stops might seem unimportant, but I can read and review your code easier"

"Ok I see your concern and will set up my editor"

"toilet seat seems unimportant, but if I fall in in the middle of the night, it will disturb both of us"

:)