That's not only a lovely story, it also holds useful insights about effective problem solving and collaboration (or when the best collaboration is just listening).
There's a different but somewhat related "no response necessary" communication technique my wife and I discovered. This occurred when she would share a problem she'd recently faced with me. Being an engineer, I'd listen to the problem and then helpfully try to suggest possible solutions. Sometimes this was fine but on other occasions, she'd seem to just disconnect or even get frustrated. But which way things went didn't seem dependent on the usefulness of my answer.
The realization came one day when I was kind of disappointed that the comprehensive rank-ordered list of possible solutions I'd helpfully provided only got an annoyed and frustrated non-response. So I pushed back and asked what answer she was looking for. This caused her to erupt and exclaim "I just needed you to say 'That's terrible, honey.'" and then she stormed off. This was a shocking revelation for me.
We discussed it more calmly later and, sure enough, sometimes she was relating the problems she'd confronted not because she wanted solutions but because she felt a need for understanding, empathy and connection. Ah! That's the day I learned to consider (or sometimes even ask) which kind of problem statement this is - and that lets me respond with either solution suggestions or a heartfelt "That's terrible, honey." This has made life better.
Regardless of engineering background or not, I do believe this is a major different between men and women in general.
I know I'm guilty of the same thing and I'm positive many others here have had very similar experiences.
IN GENERAL, it seems when guys talk to someone else, they are likely looking for input into a situation. If we didn't want input, we would just sit and ruminate in our own personal thoughts processes.
Your story is also a great lesson in why communication is key - unfortunately it takes both parties to realize this!
I think you're right that men and women (tend to) have different responses to someone venting to them, and different tendencies in when and who to vent to, but I think both (tend to) prefer the listening approach when they are venting. It's kind of like writing in that the benefit is in being open and being able to reflect on that openness. In addition to openness, just having someone to vent to brings the comfort of human connection.
There's a different but somewhat related "no response necessary" communication technique my wife and I discovered. This occurred when she would share a problem she'd recently faced with me. Being an engineer, I'd listen to the problem and then helpfully try to suggest possible solutions. Sometimes this was fine but on other occasions, she'd seem to just disconnect or even get frustrated. But which way things went didn't seem dependent on the usefulness of my answer.
The realization came one day when I was kind of disappointed that the comprehensive rank-ordered list of possible solutions I'd helpfully provided only got an annoyed and frustrated non-response. So I pushed back and asked what answer she was looking for. This caused her to erupt and exclaim "I just needed you to say 'That's terrible, honey.'" and then she stormed off. This was a shocking revelation for me.
We discussed it more calmly later and, sure enough, sometimes she was relating the problems she'd confronted not because she wanted solutions but because she felt a need for understanding, empathy and connection. Ah! That's the day I learned to consider (or sometimes even ask) which kind of problem statement this is - and that lets me respond with either solution suggestions or a heartfelt "That's terrible, honey." This has made life better.