I am astonished by how much less delightful software has become. Computers used to feel like a magical tool, that would respond instantly and allow me to perform complicated transformations at the press of a button.
Now, I feel like I am fighting against software most of the time, having to compete with someones vision for how I should be using their program, which is likely aimed at the least technically sophisticated user. Nothing wrong with allowing such users to use the software, but please retain the functionality and speed for the power users!
I loved my computer when I was a kid, now I only see flaws. I don't think software was flawless at the time, it's just that I became very keenly aware of its current issues because this is my field.
I think I am in the same boat as you. Knowing how the sausage is made only makes the flaws noticed even more offensive.
But I do think the GP has a point about the intentional friction and bullshit introduced into lots of modern software that wasn't even a twinkling in some CEOs eye way back when. Software has become adversarial to the user. Psychology has been weaponized to induce behaviors in users. Instead of users feeling utility and choice in using the software, they feel burdened, controlled. Or at least, I do. I try to make smart choices about what software I use to maintain my own volition.
These kinds of flaws are fundamentally different from the kinds of flaws in software from the past if only because of the order of magnitude increase of resources that can be mustered to accomplish it. And because they are exploitative.
I think the harsh practical reality is that a lot of end-user computing needs have been met for a long time: word processing, media playback, communications, etc. Unless you need live collaboration or some specialized package, most things you can do in modern Google Sheets you can do just as well in LibreOffice Calc or Excel 97.
How does one build or maintain a viable software business in a world where most people's software needs have been met? It's to pivot away from delivering value towards extracting value. Hence all the push towards cloud-based services instead of stadalone local programs. Online connectivity allows the developer to arbitrarily change the balance of value between them and the user, which is where the gross adversarial feeling of modern computing comes from. The computer is no longer serving you exclusively.
I have a lot more patience for flaws when I know they are not the result of a profit motive. For example if Linux deletes my graphics driver and I have to spend an hour reading up on fixing it.
If on the other hand I know that a flaw is a result of intentional, adversarial rent seeking behavior (eg ads in the search menu on Windows; introducing shitty UI design; dark patterns), my patience is non-existent.
Modern tech problem seems to land in the second category a lot more often than it did 15+ years ago. It is the environment that has changed, not me.
One aspect of this that I think deserves more attention is the reasons.
It's one thing when the flaws are there because of the limitations of hardware (and you understand the reasoning behind it). It's very different when you know that limitations are artificially imposed on you for the sake of someone's profit.
And mind you, it certainly did exist back then - stuff like early DRM schemes with hardware keys etc. And I was just as annoyed by them.
I think it's about software, just because back then there was a lot less of it. It was easier to navigate when the OS didn't have a million and one features and you just launched an app you wanted to you and could mostly trust that there wasn't going to be an ad or another feature in the way.
Regardless of the degree that is true for the parent poster, those (and more) qualitative differences can also be felt among different pieces of software that are all quite new.
Kids nowadays are suprisingly proficient and using phones and computers.
...because they just click "AGREE" to every popup. They sign up. They give away their phone number or their one email address or they do the subscription, then cancel it later (or forget). They enter their credit card because they don't have any money to take anyway.
Now, I feel like I am fighting against software most of the time, having to compete with someones vision for how I should be using their program, which is likely aimed at the least technically sophisticated user. Nothing wrong with allowing such users to use the software, but please retain the functionality and speed for the power users!