> How are you stitching together a database, auth-layer, geo-spatial layer, complex querying, server-side state, session, caching etc. all into an "api/" folder within your app?

Conceptually, I think you're looking for Go. Surprisingly pleasant for all-encompassing webdev.

> I genuinely would like to drink the Kool Aid and try building an app the way "I'm supposed to".

Isn't that what React and Next/npm are?