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It just feels so good to think that I can just get out and forget all about it. It relaxes me, and it brings me tears of joy.

Yesterday I've spent 8 hours hoping that I could do a super easy task, I had to cry before I could focus and do that (it took me 15 minutes, mental preparation for it took me 7 hours).

The problem though, I haven't interviewed for 6 years and it is very likely that I will not find anything for at least a year.

Another problem, I don't feel like coding, ever. I've spent 15 years doing it and, in general, I am not passionate about it at all. I just don't want to do it anymore.

After I've written entire systems that serve ok (I hope). I just can't do a single if statement without DPDR symptoms anymore.

I am so thoroughly done, I just can't imagine doing this for another month. Boss knows, everyone else knows too. I sort of coast for a month and then it is likely that I am gone. I hope I will be gone on good terms.

The biggest question is what is next for me in life? I have absolutely no idea.




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