This sounds like an operational issue and/or a lack of expertise with terraform. I use terraform (self hosted, I guess you’d call it?) and manage not only kubernetes clusters but helm deployments with it just fine and without the issues you are describing. Honestly, this is just my honest feedback, I see things and complaints a lot like this in consulting, where they expect terraform to magically solve their terrible infrastructure and automation decisions. It can’t, but it absolutely provides you the tooling to avoid what I think you are describing.
It’s fair to complain that terraform requires weird areas of expertise that aren’t that intuitive and take a little bit of a learning curve, but it’s not really fair to complain that it should prevent bad practices and inexperience from causing the issues they typically do.
Terraform explicitly recommends in the Kubernetes provider documentation that the the cluster creation itself and everything else related to Kubernetes should live in different states.
> The most reliable way to configure the Kubernetes provider is to ensure that the cluster itself and the Kubernetes provider resources can be managed with separate apply operations. Data-sources can be used to convey values between the two stages as needed.
It’s fair to complain that terraform requires weird areas of expertise that aren’t that intuitive and take a little bit of a learning curve, but it’s not really fair to complain that it should prevent bad practices and inexperience from causing the issues they typically do.