> Because in order to be inclusive, we boil down to the lowest common denominator.
I know bartenders who have a customer list that they never serve for various reasons. It’s easier to implement it in a neighbourhood level, as there’s an implied “we’re a part of the same group, so try to behave” understanding.
> Case in point: why work parties are so dry?
I get what you’re saying, but my work parties have been nothing but dry (and definitely, very far from dry) up until my current job. I just changed a few months ago though, and until I relocate, can’t really experience what they have to offer.
Agreed about the party hosting part though. It’s pretty tough to get some of my friend circles to do something together for the same reason. We can usually muster up for our big traditions though, which I think can be done in a local level too.
> there’s an implied “we’re a part of the same group, so try to behave” understanding.
Ok but why would I go to places where I need to behave, if I can just drink at home instead, without needing to behave? I've been behaving the entire week already, give me a break.
There's a very big range between "behave like a 10 year old school child on their first day at school" and "get absolutely plastered, and start sexually harassing your neighbours". And no, I'm not making things up, I've seen this happen, personally. If the latter is a 10, an establishment could kick anyone out above the level of 8. Get drunk, misbehave to a point, break a pint or two throughout a year, that's fine.
The problem is, you can't objectively measure the unacceptableness of particular behavior. You can't tell a guy "you see, our unacceptableness meter shows 8.1 unacceptableness units, while our limit is 8, so you're out". It's all relative to social dynamics of particular group. Learning and following those dynamics costs energy, and if I'm spending my energy on something, I want a return on my investment. That's why I don't hang out with random people, but rather with people whose views on social norms align with mine.
I know bartenders who have a customer list that they never serve for various reasons. It’s easier to implement it in a neighbourhood level, as there’s an implied “we’re a part of the same group, so try to behave” understanding.
> Case in point: why work parties are so dry?
I get what you’re saying, but my work parties have been nothing but dry (and definitely, very far from dry) up until my current job. I just changed a few months ago though, and until I relocate, can’t really experience what they have to offer.
Agreed about the party hosting part though. It’s pretty tough to get some of my friend circles to do something together for the same reason. We can usually muster up for our big traditions though, which I think can be done in a local level too.