When I was little I had a small bb gun and would shoot cans in the backyard. A couple times i shot a crow and it would bounce off their strong chest and they would fly off seemingly unfazed. One time by pure chance I hit a crow in the neck and it died instantly, crashing down into my neighbor's yard. It was very shocking because I had not killed anything like that before. Immediately crows started circling my parents house, making an incredible amount of noise. I was so scared, I jumped over the fence to retrieve the dead crow. At this point crows started to dive bomb me and I thought for sure the whole neighborhood must know what is going on. I buried the crow in the backyard and the crows continued to be in high places around the house making noises until evening. The coordination and the intentional effort they made to disrupt and stop me was something I have never forgotten.
This had a big effect on me, I thought of it's family, and how they were trying to protect it. Needless to say I have not shot another bird since.
This is a hard way to learn it, but I think the recognition of non-human animals as being alive in the same way we are is quite a profound moment. Just that realisation of this thing that was previously just a robotic, animated part of "the natural world", like a blade of grass that can move, suddenly being - in its own way - related to itself and others of its species. People find this easy with pets, I guess, but I think the moment you recognise a farm or wild animal as being of a similar kind as you, it can really change your perspective.
I've never felt the desire to kill anything larger than a mosquito or fly and never have. Wanting to kill something is definitely not a feeling everyone experiences as a kid.
I had a similar experience when I was a kid shooting a .22 and was like “no way I can hit this bird” and totally did. I instantly felt like a huge prick as I stood there watching this bird die. I went back to get my gun to humanely finish it off but didn’t manage to find it again when I walked back. First and last time I’ve ever thoughtlessly harmed an animal
Angry, dive bombing birds are so horrible. I'm sure they awaken something deep within me. I once passed under a crow's nest and they warned me but apparently I didn't pass it quickly enough, and as I looked up, one had spread its wings right above me and flew right over my head! Aaaah! I didn't know how scary that was until it happened to me. And I definitely didn't expect them to look huge like that with the wingspan + surprise effect.
Your parents should have told you not to harm animals for no reason to begin with, and the fact that this isn't the takeaway from this story is frankly very concerning.
> The coordination and the intentional effort they made to disrupt and stop me was something I have never forgotten. This had a big effect on me, I thought of it's family, and how they were trying to protect it. Needless to say I have not shot another bird since.
This is the kind of dismissive response that isn't good for anyone.
It would have been much improved if you could somehow provide a foundation for why you think what you think and if you could leave the things that you literally just made up out of it.
I vibe with his comment, so I'll go to bat for his statement, even though I don't precisely know what he was going for.
Kids are very variable, and a simple one time statement of "don't hurt animals" will absolutely not move the needle much in one direction or the other as far as your kid's temperament. Some kids are inclined towards violence from a very early age. Biting, throwing rocks, eye pokes, you name it. The amount of socialization it takes to remedy this can be immense, we're talking tens of thousands of little lessons and lectures, rather than a single "don't do that".
And for what its worth, I'm speaking second hand as well. My daughter is on the complete opposite end of the violence spectrum, passive to the point of shutting down completely if someone intentionally hurts her, which is also a behavior you need to coach against for practical reasons. I've talked with parents on the violent end though, and their problem is at least an order of magnitude harder to deal with.
w.r.t. valval's comment, I agree in that I think these kinds of behaviors are mostly invisible to people not only to people without kids, but also to people whose kids haven't been the age in question in a couple of years. People forget things they themselves have experienced rather rapidly. I have lots of coworkers with multiple kids who still publicly display surprise when someone with a 0-2 year old is suddenly out frequently because their baby is sick or has a medical appointment.
I do agree that his comment is too dismissive, but I think its a reflexive response to a world at large that oversimplifies child rearing to the detriment of parents, which is how I read your comment.
Ah yes, because only parents know how to parent. It's not a qualification.
And his behaviour is certainly different from my experience as a kid of never wanting to and never actually harming anything beyond flies and mosquitos.
