I admit to using the term "blowing up" rather colloquially. you're entirely right: it's not accurate. Even the first flight (which suffered an engine shutdown due to a fuel leak) didn't really "blow up" until it hit the ground; the latter two probably only "blew up" upon re-entry. (Although I'm not actually sure about the third flight; during staging, the first stage rammed the second stage at a low velocity, damaging it enough to scupper the mission. No idea how intact the second stage and payload were after that.)

All three flights would certainly have been survivable if equipped with a LES; all three would certainly have led to loss of payload if not launching people. In any case, five flawless flights since then have demonstrated that they've learned quite a lot from those early experiences.