Six hours a week? I used to play four to six hours a _day_ of CounterStrike back in college. And let me tell you, that's one of the biggest regrets of my life.
Most of my friends consisted of people whom I gamed with -- I barely made any friends in college. And of course, most of those gaming friendships never developed into any sort of deeper connection. Having made friends "IRL" with whom I have deeper connections than playing video games, I can't tell you how much more enriching that is.
Also, I now have all sorts of interests that require lots of something that I once had but now don't: time. In college, I now understand, I had so much time with which to learn and create. Instead I squandered it all away. I did graduate cum laude, so it's not like I was a total slacker, but I could have spent my time in ways that would have been far more interesting and rewarding than clicking, clicking...
Furthermore, I now have problems with my left hand as a result of holding down WASD so much. That's not something that can necessarily ever be fixed, which is frustrating to me as someone who once played musical instruments. I gave up being able to play guitar and violin for what? For video games?
Yes, I have Diablo 3 and I see that many of my friends are on Hell difficulty now and level 55 or whatever. They did that in 2 or 3 days while I still haven't beaten normal mode. And even though I'm having a bit of fun playing Diablo 3, it can never compare to the enjoyment that I once had playing instruments. And what's sad is that _I knew this_ at the time, but it was so much _easier_ to play games than to do any of these other more rewarding but more challenging activities.
Was I addicted to video games? I don't think I've suffered from any of the more classical addictions like alcoholism, so I can't fully compare. But in retrospect, I think that I was. I was always interested in games as a kid (playing NES), but I think that I really turned to games after a particularly traumatic event in my life. From that point on, gaming became an outlet for psychological stress and personal insecurities. And as time went on with me using gaming as a bad coping mechanism, additional negative effects accrued: for instance, I lost that drive in life which boredguy8 mentioned.
Well, I'm rambling a bit now... but what I wanted to convey was that if you find that what I said about my relationship with gaming resonates with you, please take some time to reflect upon yourself and the way in which you are using the gift that is your unrepeatable life. Examine yourself and see if there are perhaps deeper problems with which you need to get help, problems which are being masked by gaming. And if you can't figure this out through self-examination, please find someone who can help you. There's more to life than playing games.
This discussion raised an interesting thought in my mind: what if CounterStrike was seen as a worthwhile sport by society? If the annual CounterStrike champion was seen as on a par with top sportspeople? If people like muraiki could say "yeah, I trained pretty hard for CounterStrike in my college days. Almost went pro but decided I wanted to focus on other things. Got fond memories of it though".
That is, is the difference between "good" and "bad" obsessions purely subjective and cultural? (Example of a good obsession: recently I read the book "Mastery", where the author describes his years of practicing Aikido almost nightly. Aikido is probably close to useless in real life but the author was greatly enriched by his training. And the enrichment wasn't despite the fact his training was often repetitive, it was because it was so repetitive and "dull").
Or is there an objective criteria for distinguishing between good an bad obsessions? Here's my criteria, good obsessions are good for at least one of:
- your health
- your wealth
- your social circle
- etc
And bad obsessions are bad for at least one of those. So if you're an avid gamer, but you don't let it go so far as to effect your health, and you actively go to LAN parties or gaming expos and make real friends through that, then that's a healthy obsession.
Or if you're an online poker player or day trader that loses significant money, that's an unhealthy obsession (because it would be rational to stop). If you make money, then it's a healthy obsession. If you only lose insignificant amounts of money, then it's just a hobby and isn't really good or bad.
I actually only admitted to myself this year that I'm actually obsessed with startups. I realised that most close friends I made over the last few years had ever a strong interest or active involvement in entrepreneurship and instead of trying to fight it (eg, like thinking it was kind of lame that I've been to more tech conferences than music concerts), I should just double down on that and build a social circle out of my startup obsession.
You make good points. "Is there an objective criteria for distinguishing between good and bad obsessions?" I think that the nuance we are trying to capture is the difference between being passionate about something and being obsessed. And I think that where we can draw the line is at the psychological health of each person, although it might not be the most objective measure. Let me explain.
My wife was a national champion in college soccer. She ended up switching schools, but for the time that she was playing college soccer she got nearly full tuition. She certainly was in top physical shape. These all seem like good accomplishments, but she always tells people that she wishes she hadn't done soccer. There are small reasons like the wear and tear on her body, and her feeling that she would have more greatly enjoyed piano (which she's since taken up again).
But ultimately, the thing that she says bothered her the most was the kind of person that competitive soccer turned her into. The effect upon her personality and the way she treated other people was very negative. I won't relate the adjectives that she uses to describe herself at the time, but what's important is that the dividing line for her as to whether all her effort in soccer was worth it or not was _the kind of person it made her become_.
I'm not a psychologist so I can't really go much further with this. It probably isn't the most objective criteria, as it depends on one's value system. Certainly there are exceptions, like an alcoholic who thinks that he is really enjoying life. But if we were to talk about what seems to be more subtle obsessions, as opposed to chemical addictions, the one thing I can see that is common to both my wife and I -- her having done something that most people would have valued and I having done something that didn't result in much positive benefit -- is that neither of us liked the type of person that our activities turned us into.
What's critical is that neither of us were able to understand this until we were able to step back from our passion/obsession and look at it from the outside, as if we were a third party. We had to be able to step apart from our activity, look at ourselves dispassionately, and ask, "Is this who I want to be?"
Now, the situation you describe is a little different. To succeed as an entrepreneur requires constant education, which necessarily includes making many connections with other entrepreneurs for learning and support. Certainly someone who spends all their time consuming music might not be making the most out of their lives, but someone who spends all their time away from their family at tech conferences will also be missing out on very important things. I don't know your personal situation, but I think it does come down to your psychological well-being.
Your wealth, your social circle, even your health and your life can vanish in an instant. Whether a recession destroys your 401k, your friends leave you for other interests, you are diagnosed with a disease, or you die in an accident, there is no guarantee that any of these things will continue to persist. That's not to say that they aren't worth laboring for, but recognizing the ephemerality of these things can help give us a new perspective. What I try and ask myself is, "If I died in the next moment, would I feel that I have lived?"* That question can help me choose between another hour of Diablo 3 and spending some time with my wife, for instance. :)
Edit: For the sake of being perfectly honest, my question is a little bit different as it is based on my value system, which I'm not certain the HN community appreciates. I tried to put forth a question that most people could interpret and apply to themselves. But for me, the question is, "Do I love my God, and do I love my neighbor as Christ demonstrates His love for us, even unto death?" There are all sorts of ways -- even in soccer and video games! -- that can help me answer this question with a yes. And that's why I think the question of passion vs obsession is a difficult line to draw. To not disclose this would make me feel dishonest, but I admit that I'm reluctant to fully explain this because of the way the tech/scientist community generally feels about religion.
Most of my friends consisted of people whom I gamed with -- I barely made any friends in college. And of course, most of those gaming friendships never developed into any sort of deeper connection. Having made friends "IRL" with whom I have deeper connections than playing video games, I can't tell you how much more enriching that is.
Also, I now have all sorts of interests that require lots of something that I once had but now don't: time. In college, I now understand, I had so much time with which to learn and create. Instead I squandered it all away. I did graduate cum laude, so it's not like I was a total slacker, but I could have spent my time in ways that would have been far more interesting and rewarding than clicking, clicking...
Furthermore, I now have problems with my left hand as a result of holding down WASD so much. That's not something that can necessarily ever be fixed, which is frustrating to me as someone who once played musical instruments. I gave up being able to play guitar and violin for what? For video games?
Yes, I have Diablo 3 and I see that many of my friends are on Hell difficulty now and level 55 or whatever. They did that in 2 or 3 days while I still haven't beaten normal mode. And even though I'm having a bit of fun playing Diablo 3, it can never compare to the enjoyment that I once had playing instruments. And what's sad is that _I knew this_ at the time, but it was so much _easier_ to play games than to do any of these other more rewarding but more challenging activities.
Was I addicted to video games? I don't think I've suffered from any of the more classical addictions like alcoholism, so I can't fully compare. But in retrospect, I think that I was. I was always interested in games as a kid (playing NES), but I think that I really turned to games after a particularly traumatic event in my life. From that point on, gaming became an outlet for psychological stress and personal insecurities. And as time went on with me using gaming as a bad coping mechanism, additional negative effects accrued: for instance, I lost that drive in life which boredguy8 mentioned.
Well, I'm rambling a bit now... but what I wanted to convey was that if you find that what I said about my relationship with gaming resonates with you, please take some time to reflect upon yourself and the way in which you are using the gift that is your unrepeatable life. Examine yourself and see if there are perhaps deeper problems with which you need to get help, problems which are being masked by gaming. And if you can't figure this out through self-examination, please find someone who can help you. There's more to life than playing games.