> Even if your words are superficially nice what he really did was blame the engineer and told him not to do it again.
The person being told that may feel that way, but IMO nothing from his phrasing implies that:
"let's just consider it an expensive learning opportunity to redesign the system so it can't happen again"
Note the "can't" in the "can't happen again" - he isn't telling the employee "don't you dare do that again!" as you seem to be saying, he's saying "let's all figure out how to protect our systems from such mistakes".
The person being told that may feel that way, but IMO nothing from his phrasing implies that:
Note the "can't" in the "can't happen again" - he isn't telling the employee "don't you dare do that again!" as you seem to be saying, he's saying "let's all figure out how to protect our systems from such mistakes".