Thanks for asking! I went to music theory specifically because I didn't want to produce anything before I analyze enough music (like, thousands of compositions). That is, I didn't want to talk music and do marketing on my compositions until I learn it on a level of B2, at least.
I personally felt very dumb from all guides on how to start making music in an hour. I felt like I've given a nice caligraphy pen (and a helium balloon) to say something, yet I haven't read even anything in the language that I'm gonna be talking in. Should I, at the bare minimum, understand any structural context of what was done before me? How prog rock was done, on a level of notes (or timbres)? Bulgarian folk songs? Turkish improvisation? That kind of stuff.
(I admit it's a nerdy and very corner-case road. I come from a background of learning many languages as a hobby, so I understand why I'm broken the way I am. I appreciate it when people can "just" compose, unlike me.)
> because I didn't want to produce anything before I analyze enough music
Just wanted to say be careful with self limiting thoughts. I never saw myself even as a musician because I am largely self taught.
It wasn't really until I was having a chat with a great musician/composer that I have tremendous respect for. He made a comment that I was a great musician when we were talking about the topic of "being a musician". Those few words from him made a huge impact on my life.
I think what I'm trying to say is: write stuff, produce stuff. You don't have to publish it or you could publish under pseudonym if you like. The fear of failure has held me back an awful lot and it's still crippling sometimes.
Thank you! For me, it's not a fear of failure. It's a fear of meaninglessness. I feel like the culture where people generally running around and reaffirming each other that "studying anything from the past isn't necessary because that's not how creativity works" is toxic.
finding meaning in my own music has been a journey.
Once you learn how all the tools and patterns around music work, what do you want to do with it is the natural next question.
For me finding genuine emotion, feeling, and story that can be inscribed in a song has been a huge challenge. Moreso as I got older, my younger ego would love to share every emotion, thought, and color. My older ego is more reserved and feels less of these emotions and thoughts are worthy of encoding into song.
