I stopped reading at "longer wavelength radiation than a standard microwave."
A microwave do not irradiate your food. Rather, it uses an oscillating magnetic field to induce dipole heating (in mainly water molecules but also other dipoles that may be present in the food).
> [No electromagnetic radiation] whatsoever in a microwave.
WTF!? Is this leaking out of some kind of weird electromagnetic health conspiracy theory subculture?
Any trivial web search provides an avalanche of results explaining otherwise--that your microwave oven definitely uses electromagnetic radiation--including the EPA and FDA.
Or is your thesis that everybody else is wrong about wave-particle duality and photons aren't real?
A microwave do not irradiate your food. Rather, it uses an oscillating magnetic field to induce dipole heating (in mainly water molecules but also other dipoles that may be present in the food).