Keep them in a bag with a banana and soon your problem child will be like the older two.

Hmmm, we've got a massive fig tree that produces > 4kg a day for over a month each year and a mango tree that's similarly exuberant.

Sadly we're not in the child trade for tree game :-(

Lucky! Figs are great for creating homemade energy/protein/w.e bars as the binder and mangos are great frozen as pulp for mango lassi.

What about grandparents? Are you all set on grandparents? In-laws?

We trade figs for lamb, we make glace figs for the year, we make fig jam, the staff from the local patisserie raid the tree a few times and we get half price curry pies for the rest of the year ..

The mangoes trade pretty damn well. (Not our mango tree - but same age and same rough geographic location: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgBgQQXoUw8 )

My father planted the tree (he was born in 1935) and does most of the bulk cooking | prep here still; he's a great grand parent, I'm a grand parent ... we're doing pretty good on extended family, thank you for the implied offer of surplus humans but they tend to be for life and not just for christmas.