It's not about commanding or asking or whatever, you're not trying to get Siri to set a timer. It's about actual human relationships. Your job as a manager is to help them achieve both their individual goals and your collective goals, in that order. A lot of that is coaching and building alignment, but you also need to tangle with the organization to protect your team. Once you prove to your people that you're doing that, you shouldn't have trouble talking to them.