I think it’s just semantics of whether “abuse” requires intent. If yes, then the commenters parent was probably not abusive. If not and only the behavior matters without regard for intent or psychology, then it does seem abusive.

For what it's worth, I am certainly in the second camp - in general (without reference to this specific example), it's certainly possible for people to behave abusively towards others without even realising that they're doing it. One can be responding to internal pressures without thought for how those responses affect those around them.

Obliviousness to how your actions affect others do not make those actions disappear.

Yes that's my point - behaviour can be abusive regardless of whether or not the perpetrator intended or even noticed it.

Yes I was agreeing with you.

Im on your camp.

I will go further: If someone cannot wait until the completion of a sentence to get ticked off, they have problems.