Some people are just ugly. And physical attractiveness is the number one criterion for partner selection, in both men and women[1].

I agree with you that paraplegics who haven't won any footraces is a huge red flag, Fuck those people.

[1] https://faculty.wcas.northwestern.edu/eli-finkel/documents/E...

I always think this take is interesting.

I haven't dated before because I did have major issues. I'm much healthier now, but because I was respectful and opted not to date when I would have been a disaster, I am now an untouchable red flag.

Truthfully, this is one of those things you just need to not disclose/evade/lie about. You might be 100% better, but there are plenty of people who just get good at putting up a façade, but who revert to old behavior under stress. With a deep dating pool people won't risk it unless they're desperate, you are a huge winner in other ways, or they've gotten to know you pretty well already.

Honestly I'd just date women if I dated because lack of experience is way more normal in the gay community for obvious reasons. I just realized around 29-30 that the time had passed for anything having to do with men. (I'm female.)

But 'deep dating pool', the homosexual life is not.

ahh yes, setup a relationship on a lie and close the loop on major interpersonal issues. When in doubt, push the upcoming bursting bottle down to later you.

I think it's fair to avoid disclosing things that people would be unfairly prejudiced about. For example, Telling someone you're an ex con isn't communicating correctly when it was in your early 20s and you're in your 40s and literally a different person, but they won't be able to not think about it incorrectly.

I mean, it's not first date material (in general you're not giving your entire dark history on any first outing, romantic or not), but if you're years into your relationship and suddenly you get denied a credit check for a house or you get rejected for a background check in adopting... well, you just caused double tension from that rejection and that omission. You tell them that beforehand and you either see their true colors or you get to compromise and figure out future plans.

It should come up early on if you don't want to keep bottling that up. Better to cut your losses after a few dates than have a relationship explode later.

It couldn't mean possibly anything else?

I know, right? It could mean anything, like — just as a random, top-of-mind scenario — being in a coma through the ages of 18 to 39.

Of course. It's a movie reference. Very apt in this thread about modern action films where half of the participants opine baits.

Then there are near virgins, as the saying went "admittably, it is a pleasure, but the moves are not up to the dignity of a German philosopher"...