> I can tell I’ve taken it too far when I catch myself talking someone’s ear off at a gathering. They didn’t sign up for this, and here I am drinking them in like I’ve dunked my head neck deep into a pool at an oasis. Guess I was thirsty after all.
I would encourage you to challenge this belief. I'm not saying this is true of you, but I used to feel this way when I was insecure and overly worried about what others thought and felt. These days, I'm myself. I'm honest. I'm vulnerable (where appropriate). I'm also compassionate, and not being one of those "calls them hows I sees them" people.
I imagine people like hearing you talk more than you realize. Sometimes they enjoy it but don't necessarily know how to respond, which is about them and not you. This is especially true if it's someone who's chosen to spend time around you and didn't just randomly meet you.
I encourage people to be themselves (while being kind) and quit worrying. You'll attract the right people in life if you're authentic. You'll never attract the right people being someone else.
Conversely, the number of people I meet who rabbit on about the most pointless stuff is considerable, and most take no hints to go away and leave me alone or even dial it back. When in doubt, check in with your victim.
More of this. It can be useful to err on the side of asking questions.
And when they say they want to "go get a drink" or whatever explanation for going somewhere not by you, be open to the possibility they want a change of pace. :)
Even if what you are saying is interesting, they might have had other agendas for the night. I’ve certainly been on the opposite side of that a few times. Trying to network, talking about science or something instead.
Oh I’ve certainly done that when I was younger, but there are levels of distress that are hard to miss once you realize you should check in with the other person.
Sometimes it’s enough to say “Xs sure are cool” without launching into a full history.
I would encourage you to challenge this belief. I'm not saying this is true of you, but I used to feel this way when I was insecure and overly worried about what others thought and felt. These days, I'm myself. I'm honest. I'm vulnerable (where appropriate). I'm also compassionate, and not being one of those "calls them hows I sees them" people.
I imagine people like hearing you talk more than you realize. Sometimes they enjoy it but don't necessarily know how to respond, which is about them and not you. This is especially true if it's someone who's chosen to spend time around you and didn't just randomly meet you.
I encourage people to be themselves (while being kind) and quit worrying. You'll attract the right people in life if you're authentic. You'll never attract the right people being someone else.