This could be me. It is interesting to see how close some details are: My home country is (based on your user name) the same as mine, I do have the same dreams, I do have approx. the same savings. Im just a little younger and I didn't get my education in the US.
So, I really, really can relate to your situation.
Here is what worked for me:
First: Radical self-acceptance. Your outlook to the future determines your success in reaching your goals. That's the hard part, and I'm not there, yet, too.
Second: If you struggle with self-acceptance, apply what I call the Paradox of Specificity.
In professional sports, any exercise should be specific to the training goal to achieve maximum results. If, for example, you're training for a marathon, there is little value in doing chest presses all the day. This rule of specificity to me, is very appealing. It just works like programming: Effort in, result out. However, the rule of specificity does not apply to the way more complex thing that we call "life". Take dating for example. If anything you do with your time is somehow "looking" for a partner, you will most likely fail. This is the part where specificity is actually causing harm.
So, what I did: I created a mindset that I can influence my well-being. The reasoning is easy: If I see that I can change things for the better, I will continue to do things.
First, I started with a proper diet, then I added some sports. The first months already were amazing, so I read everything I could. I optimized my Gym training plan, my diet, my supplements, I experienced with medications, oxygen therapy, cold exposure, sauna, red light exposure and everything I could find. The results:
- More confidence as I went from overweight to below 10% body fat
- more overall well-being, better sleep, no fatigue
- the idea that I really control what's going on in my life was planted in my head
Second, I put myself into uncomfortable situations: I walk every day at least 10k steps, no matter the wheather. I end my shower with cold as long as I could (increasing number of seconds each time), so that my mind gets programmed to complete a task even in uncomfortable situations.
Also, I did things that I would never have done before. Public speaking, travel in solitude (which I admit has felt like loneliness sometimes), practising martial arts.
Third, start to get rid of negative things: Avoid toxic people, avoid alcohol, and other drugs, limit my caffeine intake, no more junk food.
And now, where am I? I'm still struggling with positive perception of the future but I see this gets better every day. I am more open to people and I feel that I "attract" positive vibes around me. I was guest on a marriage and I was able to build strong relationships with other guests. Something I thought I've lost (or just became too old).
A word on therapy: Not sure about your insurance, but if you can afford it, take some "retreat" for 6weeks in a nice clinic that offers nature, sports, good food, therapy sessions and whatnot. This distance from your usual day to day life and the support you get, can be a booster. But: Tell them what you want, put the effort in. I know how harsh that sounds: But no therapist can help if you just sit there and complain how bad everything is.
Btw, getting back to the US seems appealing for me too, right now, even if the timing is not right from an economic pov.
If you want to chat, give me a note here and we'll find a way to connect
So, I really, really can relate to your situation.
Here is what worked for me:
First: Radical self-acceptance. Your outlook to the future determines your success in reaching your goals. That's the hard part, and I'm not there, yet, too.
Second: If you struggle with self-acceptance, apply what I call the Paradox of Specificity.
In professional sports, any exercise should be specific to the training goal to achieve maximum results. If, for example, you're training for a marathon, there is little value in doing chest presses all the day. This rule of specificity to me, is very appealing. It just works like programming: Effort in, result out. However, the rule of specificity does not apply to the way more complex thing that we call "life". Take dating for example. If anything you do with your time is somehow "looking" for a partner, you will most likely fail. This is the part where specificity is actually causing harm.
So, what I did: I created a mindset that I can influence my well-being. The reasoning is easy: If I see that I can change things for the better, I will continue to do things.
First, I started with a proper diet, then I added some sports. The first months already were amazing, so I read everything I could. I optimized my Gym training plan, my diet, my supplements, I experienced with medications, oxygen therapy, cold exposure, sauna, red light exposure and everything I could find. The results: - More confidence as I went from overweight to below 10% body fat - more overall well-being, better sleep, no fatigue - the idea that I really control what's going on in my life was planted in my head
Second, I put myself into uncomfortable situations: I walk every day at least 10k steps, no matter the wheather. I end my shower with cold as long as I could (increasing number of seconds each time), so that my mind gets programmed to complete a task even in uncomfortable situations.
Also, I did things that I would never have done before. Public speaking, travel in solitude (which I admit has felt like loneliness sometimes), practising martial arts.
Third, start to get rid of negative things: Avoid toxic people, avoid alcohol, and other drugs, limit my caffeine intake, no more junk food.
And now, where am I? I'm still struggling with positive perception of the future but I see this gets better every day. I am more open to people and I feel that I "attract" positive vibes around me. I was guest on a marriage and I was able to build strong relationships with other guests. Something I thought I've lost (or just became too old).
A word on therapy: Not sure about your insurance, but if you can afford it, take some "retreat" for 6weeks in a nice clinic that offers nature, sports, good food, therapy sessions and whatnot. This distance from your usual day to day life and the support you get, can be a booster. But: Tell them what you want, put the effort in. I know how harsh that sounds: But no therapist can help if you just sit there and complain how bad everything is.
Btw, getting back to the US seems appealing for me too, right now, even if the timing is not right from an economic pov.
If you want to chat, give me a note here and we'll find a way to connect