Kids in your 40s are tough. I have a 21yr old and a 4yr old. I couldn't imagine having a new born today but several do.

Life is what you make it. Find something that makes you happy and the rest falls in to place in my experience.

Also therapy is very wise here. They can'tfix your issues but they help give you the tools to do it yourself which I found huge.

Good luck and if you have or can create a group of friends around you, it helps a lot as well.