Do not give up. The idea that at 40 or 50 you're past it and have missed out on all the opportunities in life is common, but it's flat out wrong. A wife and kids in your 40s is perfectly feasible, but I wouldn't focus on them first. Once you're in a happier and more stable position personally, then other things can and will follow.
Other people have given good positive practical advice on therapy, which I would recommend too, pick anyone and see if it works, if not move on. The therapist is not your friend and you don't need to worry about their feelings or long-term commitment upfront.
Other people have given good positive practical advice on therapy, which I would recommend too, pick anyone and see if it works, if not move on. The therapist is not your friend and you don't need to worry about their feelings or long-term commitment upfront.