I agree that there's no use defining things so narrowly, but I think your experience about the meeting load involved in "doing agile" is atypically low for the industry in general.
Maybe so, but it's varied across size and industry and matches with my friends experience in other broad areas. So I guess let's reframe: what is my meeting load estimate (the 4 hour a week high side) missing? How does that get to 4 hours a day, and if not there, what is the maximum?
To be clear, that's not to say that other meetings can't be used, but that they are not part of the "agile" process. I can easily imagine a dev ending up with 4 hours a day, but that's more related to company size and process. Things like design reviews, meeting with other teams, not being able to quickly find the right point of contact, using meetings to find out you have the wrong person, not defining clear agendas, inviting too many people to meetings, and so on. I'd bet some of these are affecting OP, but again, this has nothing to do with the style of development planning/process.
If your running strict scrum your stand-ups should be 15 minutes. In my current company as well as my last role that'd be a long stand. They were usually closer to 5.
