I think we pretty much agree (and I thank you for your "moderation"), but I go further. There is a fairly strong correlation between the thoughts and actions of others, including ourselves. I care what others think of me, in part, selfishly, because I care what they do with those thoughts. And yes, sometimes being loved and being feared, just as an example, can cause others to give us money or attention, thus two distant feelings can have the same consequences.