If you approach a discussion with the attitude that it might be hard to accomplish, you inspire the creative and competitive part of the mind to search for ways it can be done.
If you approach it as though the task is easy, the mind searches for difficulties and reasons why it might not be possible instead.
How many people realise they have been manipulated after reading material like this? It's the same feeling I had after reading 'How to make friends and influence people'.
You're saying that suggestions like "Give honest and sincere appreciation", "Be a good listener", "Become genuinely interested in other people", "Show respect for the other person's opinions", and "Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view" are manipulative?
Having dealt with programming teams in my teenage years, yeah, ego is always an entertaining problem.
That said, you come off as a needy manipulative little shithead.
If this was such a big deal to you, and you cared so much about self-improvement, why didn't you learn the skills yourself instead of manipulating Paul into doing stuff for you?
When reading his post I was reminded of stories of startups where founders are contributing different amounts of effort. It's not always easy to divorce your cofounders, but if you can find a way to encourage your cofounder to reach his full potential, I see it as a win-win for all involved.
> why didn't you learn the skills yourself instead of manipulating Paul into doing stuff for you?
Perhaps the reasoning goes, ``manipulating others buys you any skill you need any time you need. makes a better investment than the programming skill alone''.
If you approach it as though the task is easy, the mind searches for difficulties and reasons why it might not be possible instead.