I sometimes feel that it's because I'm not hanging out with the right kind of people. People with whom if I hang out I will be fun and they will be fun and I will be myself. But then I think when was the last time I was comfortably myself with someone. It was always either professional, or an acquaintance type friend, or a hiking group, or guitarist. Everywhere I'm a persona and not me and on internet I'm me and it's not bad. Don't know, something simpler perhaps.