> I'm literally sat at my desk inside my house with cash in my jeans pocket now.

Which you, at some point, had to withdraw from an ATM. And which slows down your transaction time at a checkout.

I do have a phone in my pocket. I would have my phone in my pocket anyway. It's great that it now means I don't need to manage bits of paper and metal too.

Neither of those are true, but yo, whatever, in your life I guess they feel like they have to be. Good luck, fellow space cadet.