I wouldn't say I'm trying to pander or write what they want to hear, because even if I succeeded and managed to do that not being honest to who we are, and what we want to do would take away from any potential experience with the program. I'm just looking for tips to more or less say more things with less words. There's just so much I want to say, obviously I don't expect the people reading the applications to read a novel, but with the briefness of each section we feel like it only really scratches the surface of who we are and what our idea really is. I guess what my question is, is what are tips to being able to express more in fewer words.
In that case, I meant no disrespect. Brevity is difficult for some but the application is the first step in that program - it teaches you to be 'right to the point' because we are dealing with people's time and meandering around a point makes people lost in translation. Tips, huh....analogies are always good, as PG has often suggested. Examples1: 'I am like a combination of Mr. X and Mr. Y" - it saves you some adjectives and gets the ideas across of who you are. Example2: 'My idea is like FB but in Starbucks' - a social media service but in a coffee house...something like that. I believe these are the same strategies and advice that PG and YC will drill you to hone down when it comes down to Demo day. Given the 120 word limit, it is hard, I know. Also, ask friends and family who are not familiar with your work/idea to read it. If they don't get your idea within the first 2 sentences, then keep working at it. When you really get good at it, 120 words may be too much...=) Good Luck.
Oh I didn't take it as disrespect, and I apologize if I came off that way. I really like your idea of having people who haven't had a chance to look at it as sounding boards for the application. Thanks for the tips!