It's tough... at 47 I'm old enough to have felt the decades past turn into a scant handful of memories. When you're older, the past matters less. The now matters more. Not being able to pay for good health care matters. Not being able to eat what you want or take vacations matters. When you're old, you realize "Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone" and you have the now to worry about. But I don't know, even if I can't remember all of it, some of what I did when I was younger made me who I am now. I'd say plan on working until you're at least 50 and taking some time to smell the roses, especially if you have kids.
The other thing I've realized being old: if you're going to have kids, have them young. There is absolutely nothing on this earth which is as valuable as the time you'll have with your children. I've waited until late in life to have kids, and it strikes me now that it means I might not ever get to meet my grandkids. I'll have decades less time with my kids to pass on advice and support them. I think if there's anything I'd trade my youth for, it's spending time raising kids. I'd gladly work a few hard years in my 40s and 50s for that privilege.
The need for balance cannot be stated enough. All things have to be done when it's their time. Spending your entire youth working yourself to the bone to retire early is just as bad as trying to spend all your old years globetrotting to make up for not doing it earlier in life.
Life is like good food: you'll want all ingredients properly mixed in at the right time (with some added randomness and creativity). Trying to eat the ingredients one by one in some order that you think will make the food better is almost guaranteed to disappoint.
> if you're going to have kids, have them young. There is absolutely nothing on this earth which is as valuable as the time you'll have with your children
This is entirely self-centered. The kids, instead, benefit immensely from having parents with experience, emotional maturity, financial stability, better work-life balance.
You might not get to meet your grand[grand]kids but this is a sacrifice parents should be willing to make to provide a good life to their kids.
I believe what is being said is that in non-Western/fully isolated nuclear families you have a lot of people and experiences you can rely on. So having a child at a younger age like your mid-20s is not that big of a deal.
I had a friend with parents who were retiring when they were in early high school. It sounded like a rather lonely childhood borne of a fifty year age gap. When they wanted to play catch with dad- well, dad was sixty and no longer spry.
I very much agree with your sentiment about children. I'm into my 30's and feeling the ticking clock. Part of me wishes I had had children 10 years ago. Unfortunately, having children means less time and effort to put into career advancement. Getting and keeping a job as a software developer is challenging enough already without trying to keep a family together too.
35 is considered "advanced maternal age", where there is more risk to both the mother and baby. Given that it takes ~2 years to make a baby, ideally you should start having kids no later than 35 - 2n, where n is the number of kids you plan to have.
I wish we'd stop perpetuating this myth of "the time that's right for you".
Biology unfortunately or fortunately requires women to have healthy kids until a certain age, and the more women are aware of it the better for them (that is if they plan on having any)
The other thing I've realized being old: if you're going to have kids, have them young. There is absolutely nothing on this earth which is as valuable as the time you'll have with your children. I've waited until late in life to have kids, and it strikes me now that it means I might not ever get to meet my grandkids. I'll have decades less time with my kids to pass on advice and support them. I think if there's anything I'd trade my youth for, it's spending time raising kids. I'd gladly work a few hard years in my 40s and 50s for that privilege.