I feel like the thing missing or not conveyed here is a purpose. Between my last job and the current one, I took a lot of time off to figure out what I was doing and why - more broadly, what is the purpose of my life? What is the impact I want to have in my limited time here?
I found an answer to that, and it's made all the difference for me - I know why I'm doing what I'm doing, I know that my work makes a difference, and that makes the rest of this much easier. If I suddenly had $50M, I would still be working in the space I'm in.
Simultaneously, it's given me balance. I don't have the same frantic energy I had before - I'm doing meaningful work, I'm in this for the long haul, and I can't do this alone, so I can pace myself instead of panicking that I need to keep studying so I can reach my next career milestone.
I was a programmer and manager at a large tech co in a space that became increasingly problematic over the last ~5 years or so.
In the time off, I decided that climate change was the issue that mattered most to me - I felt I would feel guilty at the end of my life if I didn't at least try to do something in that space. Given that and my set of skills and general beliefs about the world, I wound up in SynBio, which I think has the promise of providing both the ability to significantly shift how we build our world and also the tools to repair the damage we've done so far.
I'm now working as a programmer in a company in that space, learning amazing science from amazing people, and seeing the impact of my work on helping advance their work. I'm learning a ton every day, I'm excited to go to work, and I feel like even if we don't succeed as a field as I'm hoping we will, at least I tried.
> At the end of the day, nobody will remember you, and you will be forgotten.
Absolutely, and I think not enough people understand or internalize this.
I think there are two responses to this - one is that the grand cosmos will not remember me, but my children, friends, and those I can mentor and teach will. You may not remember your great grandparents, but your parents do, and their influence influences you.
The second is that it takes a whole crew to sail a ship - I'm not the hero of the story, but my efforts can help accomplish changes I think are worthwhile in the world. I won't see the end of the journey, but I can help it along the way.
>You may not remember your great grandparents, but your parents do, and their influence influences you.
My city made a huge family tree database and I traced back all my anscestors to the 1500's of one branch and around the 1600's of another. It was fascinating to see I had lineage to the Polish Baltics, Northern and Southern Germany, England, and French Canadian as well.
What was a revelation to me was, I never heard of these people from my family. The only significant contribution to my life these people honestly made was the simple fact that they reproduced. I had no connection, identity, or care for who they were.
So in all, it truly made me realize, life has absolutely no purpose, and your contributions most likely won't even be permanently valuable. The only true sense of permanence that one can contribute to humanity is reproducing, and hoping your offspring will do so as well.
The greatest lie sold to Americans (as a US citizen) is that we all can be someone. Not only is this not true, but disingenuous to tell lower class people "you can be someone! you have the same opportunities as everyone else!" I'm not saying the opportunity doesn't exist everywhere, but it definitely is glamorized by the media as though it's a very tangible path. It's survivorship bias at the very least.
If you're born of the working class, chances are you will stay there unless you can figure out a way via labor or relationships to get out. More often than not, people don't/can't.
I found an answer to that, and it's made all the difference for me - I know why I'm doing what I'm doing, I know that my work makes a difference, and that makes the rest of this much easier. If I suddenly had $50M, I would still be working in the space I'm in.
Simultaneously, it's given me balance. I don't have the same frantic energy I had before - I'm doing meaningful work, I'm in this for the long haul, and I can't do this alone, so I can pace myself instead of panicking that I need to keep studying so I can reach my next career milestone.
The philosophers were right - find your meaning.