It comes across to me as a deliberate, conscious and very effective attempt at mythmaking.

Sure, I don't doubt that it's deliberate. It's not the content of the message that I'm criticizing. It's precisely that, at least to me, it's being diminished by some of the silliness in the writing. "Hello thar," "Good Sir," really? That's how we speak?

"The Anonymous bitchslap rings through your ears like hacktivism movements of the 90s."

This sentence hurts me.

All the "good sir", "hello thar", monocle stuff dates back to the SA forums, which is where 4chan originally grew out of amongst other places. It was considered funny by some, but quickly grew out of control as people with no working sense of humour took up meme-repetition as a substitute.

There was a time when you could get your account deleted for saying "good sir" on SA, it was that prevalent and annoying.

A lot of the lulzsec schtick reads like classic SA banter, I wouldn't be surprised if topiary used to post there. It could just be because of the aforementioned SA-->4chan lineage.

My minds eye always sees a '90s-era Seth Green character as the man behind the keyboard of Anonymous/LulzSec.

You're not the target audience.

This doesn't actually read to me like a LulzSec piece.

Or a 30-40 year old trying to impress, mobilize and exploit 14 year old kids with too much time on their hands.