This sounds like tacit knowledge. You have to experience it to learn. However a buddy or mentor would have been invaluable. Especially one who works elsewhere so there is no fear of reprisal (or talking behind someone’s back) when someone says “my boss was a jerk today”.

The buddy would help you understand if it’s your perspective that needs to change, you need more skills or it really is a shithouse culture and you need to leave. They can also help you understand what career path to take.

I worked somewhere where team leaders got sent to conferences and paid more. Ok looks fun to be a team leader and not a minion. Buddy would say “hang on there….”