> Expecting everyone to just accept anything because "that's what they do where they're from" is setting things up for people to be actually victimized and to feel like your company is fine with it.
Your point is valid in the abstract, sure. That’s not what was said, though.
A guy was putting his hand on his co-workers' knees! Often enough that people scurried from him! It's clear the implication is made that this is just a "Hindu" thing.
That's wrong. It's not a Hindu thing. It's offensive to say it is. And the idea that my comments saying so are being flagged is also offensive.
Comments like Eh... Can't we just bomb them as usual? ;-) are the ones that violate HN guidelines and should be flagged.
Imagine the horror of seeing two men walking holding hands because they are just friends. Many cultures have it where adult male friends hold hands and it just means that.
You're setting up a straw man. In this situation no one is talking about two close friends walking holding hands.
We are talking about a man inappropriately touching his coworkers. Not coworkers who also happen to be good friends. Coworkers who are actively avoiding him because of it.
The LIE being told, and being upheld by you, is that this is part of "Hindu" culture. Anyone saying that is extremely ignorant about India.
It is very much a cultural thing. What makes you think that it isn't?
In some cultures, men (non-romantically) holding hands is perfectly normal. In some cultures, a woman and a man shaking hands would be scandalous. In some cultures, touching somebody else's head would be considered extremely rude. The rules as to what constitutes acceptable behaviour, what constitutes sexual behaviour, etc. are clearly different in different cultures.
"Touch has a high degree of cultural relativity. Thus, the meaning of touch can only be understood in its cultural context (Guindon et al., 2017; Halbrook & Duplechin, 1994; Phelan, 2009)."
"Sexualization Of Touch: Americans, in general, have difficulty conceptualizing physical contact as nothing more than emotional nurturance and tend to avoid touch for fear of being misunderstood (Hunter & Struve, 1998; Zur, 2007a, 2007b)."
You are talking about things you know nothing about. How familiar are you with various Indian cultures? This thing about putting his hand on coworker's knees, to the point that they avoid him, is very much not a part of Indian culture.
Yes, men holding hands is commonly seen.... when those men are close friends. There would be no people trying to avoid each other.
I am not talking about Indian culture at all, and don’t know whether this specific encounter in this specific environment by this specific person was sexual or appropriate or whatever. I am specifically objecting to "This is not a cultural thing at all" by the GP.
Maybe I'm missing something, but I'm genuinely not sure how the comment you replied to is implying that? I read it as saying the US woman should have adjusted her behavior.
It's more that the comment is missing the point of the grandparent.
Having worked across a lot of cultures, it's easy to spot how ignorant it is. And ignorance is fine but the poster is trying to decide how people Should Have Acted when they're clearly not in a place to really know that.
I've worked across a lot of cultures too. If you believe it's normal part of "Hindu" culture to put your hand on co-worker's knees, to the point that they are avoiding you, then I'm afraid you don't know as much as you think you do.
