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RFC8962: Establishing the Protocol Police (rfc-editor.org)
104 points by virgulino on April 1, 2021 | hide | past | favorite | 23 comments



RFC4041, cited here, is clearly a joke from a very different era: https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc4041.txt


Eh... Not really, people were just still in enough shock over the whole 9/11 thing that few were paying attention to how quickly the world was going to hell in a hand basket.


If the protocol police doesn't include enforcement mechanisms for animal welfare related to IP over Avian Carriers, I'm not interested.

https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc1149

https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc2549


I hate April Fool's Day


why? The confusion?


Because there's no useful news. Anything and everything could be fake. Even stuff that you'd think wouldn't be fake, like Voltswagon, you apparently can't trust.

And it's not even one day. It's several days before and after. It's frustrating in a world of lies and misinformation that I don't even have the most trustworthy sources telling the truth anymore, even for a few days.


That's the point of April Fool's though... Anything and everything could always be fake. It's a holiday dedicated to reminding people that they have to use their critical thinking and maintain a healthy skepticism (now more than ever, in a world of deep interconnectedness and far more disintermediation in the tools of communication than in previous technological eras).


> It's a holiday dedicated to reminding people that they have to use their critical thinking and maintain a healthy skepticism

What? You just made that up. It's a holiday dedicated to pranking people and trying to have a laugh. There's no deep meaning behind it.


> Anything and everything could be fake.

i did a double take while listening to the nature podcast on april 1st talking about rabbits -- with a genetic mutation that impacts their hind legs -- that walk about on their front paws only by doing handstands -- wondering "is this a complete-bullshit bad-taste easter-themed april fools joke - or is this a real thing". it that case it seems like it is a real thing.


OpenAI GPT-3 has this to say:

3.2. Recruitment

The Protocol Police shall be recruited from the IETF community, and shall preferably be selected from the IETF's Standards Area Directors (SAADs), as defined in [RFC5543].

5.3. Disobeying RFCs

A Protocol Police officer, when faced with a violation of a protocol specification, is required to issue a citation, as laid out in Section 7.1.


Love it!

> 9. IANA Considerations

> If this work is standardized, IANA shall set up a registry for criminal networks and addresses. If the IANA does not comply with these orders, the Protocol Police shall go and cry to ICANN before becoming lost in its bureaucracy.

Quick reminder that icann.sucks is only $185k.


Is that because .sucks will only cost $185k to become the owner of that extension? I remember reading that in the past it cost $200k but maybe that changed?


Seems to be a premium domain name which is at 215k € for just this one single registration.


I can hear someone yelling, "No packets for you!"


Perhaps someone should deploy the UN committee on hard line wrapping to the site this document was authored to investigate possible crimes against humanity.


"12. Human Rights Considerations

   There are none for you to worry about.  The Police will see to it."
In any case, they have a UN/ISO compliant version:

https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc8962.xml


I heard that they did, but the message couldn't be read because their monitors were not 4k+ ultrawide, and their software didn't have unicode emoji support at 64pt size. Plus they had the nerve to be colorblind!



"This document formally establishes the Protocol Police. It defines the body and sets out what aspects of IETF protocols they will police."

"In the beginning was the RFC, and the network was with the RFC, and the RFC was with the network. Through the RFC all things were made; without the RFC nothing was made that has been made. In the network was life, and that life was the light of all the INTERNET. Thou shalt not deviate from the path set out in the RFCs or else thou shall be scattered over the data plane."

"Using powerful machine-learning mechanisms for threat analysis, the Protocol Police will identify networks that are likely to fail to comply with this requirement. This process is known as Heuristic Internet Policing (HIP). Networks identified in this way will be disciplined by the Protocol Police with TCP RSTs. Let it be known: the Protocol Police always shoot from the HIP."

"Before the Protocol Police, there was no security. The Police have arrived. All your networks are belong to us."


Cutting edge! I do feel like this is a good place for a blockchain-based distributed luger, though.

> Using powerful machine-learning mechanisms for threat analysis, the Protocol Police will identify networks that are likely to fail to comply with this requirement. This process is known as Heuristic Internet Policing (HIP). Networks identified in this way will be disciplined by the Protocol Police with TCP RSTs. Let it be known: the Protocol Police always shoot from the HIP.


Send all your reports of possible violations and all tips about wrongdoing to /dev/null. The Protocol Police are listening and will take care of it.


I'd like to see the protocops try and stop me from misusing tech to suit my needs as I see fit.


Great! I fully expect to have agents at my door soon.




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