TOTP is only better than SMS against SIM swapping, a rare threat. They are identical against phishing, an enormously more common problem. For a typical user the delta in security when transitioning from SMS to TOTP is minimal.
And a mildly technical angry ex is a lot less likely than phishing. These are valuable topics but people go way way way too far and say that SMS is horrible and should be basically banned while TOTP is fabulous and a completely viable alternative, which is just fantasy.
