I'm mostly the same. My family doesn't really do gifts any more, showing up in one place to cook and eat together is enough.

For my wife and myself, we usually just 'gift' something like a short holiday or a nice thing we'd been meaning to get. But it's kind of abstract when the money belongs to both of us anyway - the main gift is that the giver goes to more effort in planning it, or gives up some of their own preferences in deference to what the receiver would prefer.

Obligated gift giving is pretty annoying as you say. Much nicer to see something and think of it on the spur of the moment.